The Tribune

By DANA SMITH dsmith@tribunemedia.net FNM leader Dr Hubert Minnis says society is under siege in the Bahamas and families are decaying. Speaking at a Father's Day church service yesterday, Dr Minnis called on Bahamians to make a difference in their families and in the nation and he stressed the importance of fathers and communities. He said the family dynamic has changed, that people now live in silos, "enclosing our yards, our homes and our hearts", and that men had to be more in touch with their emotional side: "We are not very emotional beings, as that was ingrained in the female of the species, therefore, we have to hone these skills." Dr Minnis told the congregation: "We see our society under siege, we see our families in a state of decay and we see our nation on the verge of a social destruction. Today, we can make a difference in our families. Today, we can make a difference in our nation." Dr Minnis said the role of men in the family had evolved over the years. "The man was the hunter, the one that left his family to find food and sustenance for their survival. From the beginning of time, men used their strength and size to exert control. This role, even though still present in some societies, has changed over the years," he said. "There is a shift from viewing fathers as primarily breadwinners and disciplinarians to recognising fathers as active and nurturing parents in routines and activities that help to foster a strong daily family life." The opposition leader said the family dynamic had altered. "There are many families that need two incomes to survive, many families actually require more than two incomes, that is, one of the parents has to hold two jobs to make ends meet," he said. "With this fundamental change in the family dynamic, there is a sense of despair due to the absence of both parents for an extended period of time from the family group. "Further exasperating this situation is the fact that many of us have moved from the communal living, or neighborhood life that we knew of when I was growing up. We now live in silos, enclosing our yards, our homes and our hearts." Men now have to provide more emotional support for the family so both parents can share the critical developmental role of shaping their children's emotional character, said Dr Minnis. "With this change in role, a man needs to be in touch with his emotional side. We genetically are not very emotional beings, as that was ingrained in the female of the species, therefore, we have to hone these skills." However, Dr Minnis said men still had to be disciplinarians in the family, although that role had evolved too. "We must ensure that we are strong yet fair when levying punishment," he said. "We need to develop more effective communication skills and tools to discipline our children instead of falling back on our sheer strength as a tool." He said: "Research has shown that children who receive more love from their fathers are less likely to have behavioural problems and substance abuse problems. According to the American Psychological Association, 'fatherly love helps children develop a sense of their place in the world, which helps their social, emotional and cognitive development and functioning'." Dr Minnis said: "The most important role of a man in the family is to be present for your children's emotional, spiritual and social development."