The Tribune

By NOELLE NICOLLS Tribune Features Editor Parliamentary Commissioner Errol Bethel, a man who is held in great esteem by society (politics aside), apologised profusely for comments deemed to be offensive to women at the Bahamas Crisis Centre's Silent Witness Exhibition on Saturday. The incident surrounding Mr Bethel, a well respected member of the community, was not exceptional in that Mr Bethel's actions could have come from any every-day good Bahamian man. But they show how certain things, once considered normal, are no longer acceptable. Volunteers of all ages and all genders staged a silent protest at the Mall at Marathon to highlight the cost of silence in the struggle to combat domestic and sexual violence. Some of the protesters stood with their hands bound and their mouths sealed with tape. Women who attended the event took offence to the off-the-cuff remarks by Mr Bethel that suggested, according to the women, that it was a good idea for women to have their mouths taped. Mr Bethel said he was simply cracking a joke in the company of women he knew personally, and he did not intend to offend, but I cannot bring myself to understand in which context such a suggestion would be appropriate. "I was really sorry about that. I did not know what the event was all about. I was only passing by. It meant nothing because I intended nothing," said Mr Bethel. "I am apologizing now because I am extremely sorry. It was not anything to cause offence or to be derogatory. I humbly apologise to anybody who was offended," he said. Mr Bethel said he did not recall his exact words, as he was just passing through and did not stop "to make a statement." Although it is clear that Mr Bethel was a victim of his own carelessness and irresponsibility, I take the incident seriously because it reflects a wider societal stupor when it comes to women's rights and how we value the feminine. Women at the Crisis Centre event were also accosted by two religious fundamentalists who chastised them for having short hair and wearing pants, contrary to biblical teachings. They also challenged the women on the Crisis Centre's anniversary theme: "Peace in the home, peace in the community", wanting to know what they knew about peace. That well intentioned men in the Bahamian society often make offensive comments without even realising what they are doing is symbolic of what we take for granted as a society. Through our own ignorance, indifference and lack of empathy, we contribute indirectly to the many problems facing women. A prime example is the very way in which we dismiss the silent cries of women, who are our daughters, sisters, mothers and neighbours. The very purpose of the silent witness demonstration was to bring greater awareness to the fact that women's voices are often ignored and discounted. This should be a wake up call to all of us to stop being bystanders, and to be more conscious of how our words and our inaction impact the lives of women. We need to think before we speak and teach others to do the same. And more importantly, we need to use our words and actions to help empower women and end the violence. *In the interest of full disclosure I volunteer with the Crisis Centre along with some of my other family members. What do you think? Email nnicolls@tribunemedia.net