The Tribune

By JEFFARAH GIBSON Tribune Features Writer FIFTY-seven-year old Ruth* has sex at least three times a week. After years of trying to reignite her passion, she finally found the sex life she always wanted in her mature years. Her young male counterpart is to thank for that. "A woman like me needs love too. I have been dating my partner for a couple months and we have sex about three times a week. He is much younger than I am so he has more energy than I do." After the onset of menopause, Ruth admitted to feeling depressed, unattractive. She believed that sex after menopause could not exist. "When you are young your sex drive is high and you want to have all the sex that you can. I was the same way in my younger years. After menopause came around and I started seeing the rings around my eyes I realised that age was running me over and I would no longer be able to have as much sex," said Ruth. Her story is similar to that of the fictional character Samantha, the middle aged women with a vibrant sex life in HBO's Sex and The City television series. "I spruce things up by putting on sexy underwear and by just trying to be a vixen just like Samantha on Sex And The City. I may be 57 years old but trust me I still have it going on," she told Tribune Woman. Although both men and women experience a decrease in libido during the onset of old age, many people over 60 still carry on vigorous sex lives. For some partners, the problem is not sex drive, it is physical health. Terry* said the illness that both she and her partner have has limited their sexual activities. Instead of romping in the sheets, she and her husband engage in sensual touching all the time. "It works for us. It is our way of showing affection. My husband and I do not have sex in our old age because he has leg and back problems and so do I. It makes things a bit difficult when it comes to sex. So we stick to the simple things. We still do things like hug and kiss each other, but as for all of that stuff we stay away from that. We feel just as connected even though we do not have sex. It is our way of being intimate with each other," she said. Joe, 65, owes his new found sex drive to viagra. With the help of his pills he said his sex life has become more adventurous. "Viagra is one of the best things that has ever happened for men like me. Just because I am a little bit older now and I have other health issues does not mean I do not want sex. I still have a sex drive and when I feel the urge, I pop my pills so I could get busy," he said. In the case of 75-year-old Melvin*, he is a divorcee with many women to speak of. His son Cyril said he was "shocked" when he overheard a conversation in which his father spoke about his life under the sheets. "My dad is 75 years old. He is no longer married, but he has all kinds of sweethearts all over the place. I was shocked when I overheard a conversation he was having. I mean the things my father said were unbelievable. When I got to talk to him on his own I asked him when does he find the time to engage in all of the things he was discussing with the person and he said, 'baby girl Hugh Hefner ein gat nothing on me'," Cyril said.