The Tribune

By CARA BETHEL

cbrennen@tribunemedia.net

THE Bahamas National Council for Disability recently closed their annual conference by honouring several mothers of special needs children at a banquet at the British Colonial Hilton.

Described as women who exemplify the epitome of motherhood by council president Sheila Culmer, these mothers have raised and supported children who live with a wide range of disabilities.

One of the mothers herself is blind, but raised a deaf and mute son.

Over the next several weeks, The Big T will highlight the achievements of these special women.

Today, we shine the spotlight on Altermease Major.

At first Ms Major didn’t want to accept the diagnosis that her daughter had spina bifida (Latin: split spine) – a birth defect which occurs when the bones of the spine (vertebrae) do not form properly around part of the baby’s spinal cord – and would require special care for the rest of her life.

“I have always trusted God and I really just thought that it would change. I didn’t want to believe it. It was rough,” she said.

“I had a C-section and I was ecstatic because I had two little boys and now I had my daughter, Edvenna Major. But right after she was born the doctors told me something was wrong with my little girl.”

Ms Major’s joy at her child’s birth quickly turned into despair as she received the devastating news that her baby would possibly not survive the night.

“But thankfully, the night turned into days and the weeks into the months, into years, and now she is 25 years old.”

Ms Major said that the past 25 years have been extremely challenging.

Because her daughter was in a wheelchair, Ms Major said one of the biggest challenges they faced was getting her into a school that could accommodate her.

“A lot of schools thought that because she had spina bifida she had a mental disability as well, so it was very hard to get her in school. Eventually we reached a compromise because I am teacher, so we agreed that she would come to whatever school I was at, so that I could keep an eye on her and then she went to SC McPherson school for high school. But even there she was confined to one classroom and couldn’t do any of the science labs or computers because they were on the second floor.”

Ms Major said that in addition to securing education for her child, just taking care of her everyday needs was difficult.

“Having a special child is like having four or five children; that is how much demand is placed on you. Just dealing with the needs of the bladder and the bowels. And then you have all the medical expenses, because my daughter had to have numerous procedures and stayed in the hospital for extended periods of time. In addition to teaching, I would try supplement my income however I could by selling things. It was rough, but we survived and I would rather go through all of that and have her, then to not have her,” Ms Major.

Ms Major said that the one thing she has always done is to teach her daughter to be as independent as possible, to know the value of hard work, and I encouraged her to live her life to the fullest extent possible rather than staying home pitying herself.

“She took a course in shell design so she can have something to do in the day and she can make an income and feel good about that.”

Ms Major said that having a support group for mothers with special children was essential.

“It helps because not every mother is strong, and having people you can go to who understand what you’re going through can give you strength. My advice to mothers would be to just give your child a lot of love and attention and don’t treat them any differently. Let them live as freely as they are able. I know that some parents tend to be overprotective, but don’t overdo it. Allow them to reach their full potential.”

Ms Major said parents of special needs children should never hide them away – “there is nothing to be ashamed for, love can go a long way.”

“Trust in God and keep a positive attitude, that is what got me through.”