The Tribune

By Ian Bethell-Bennett

I love Rihanna. Her music is upbeat, tempting and full of cool, funky grooves. The lyrics, on the other hand, leave a whole lot to be uncomfortable with. I never felt comfortable with ‘Love the way you lie’, but the diamonds and all the others are terrific. Yet, that is where it all comes crashing down. What kind of role model is this mega-million-dollar star showing to the youth? The songs pile up as do the videos and each one has some kind of horribly damaged and violent relationship presented as if it were normal. Alcohol, gratuitous violence, drugs, possession and then passionate sex are the norm. These may look appealing but what message are they sending out?

Sadly, the images portrayed in music videos, even if children do not understand lyrics, are created to impact their viewers. In five seconds the picture undoes what any other messages of safe sex, love, harmony, could teach in months. All that is sold in the image is bling, fun, passion and fantasy. When young people see these, they actually think that people live like that and they get excited. What competes with that?

How many youngsters have parents or guardians in their homes who know about these videos and are able to sit down and talk through them? Teens with parents or guardians in the home probably find that they don’t have time to talk to them. Many parents have little idea what videos are trending, no idea what to say, or even how to talk about healthy sex.

Most adults know less than the youngsters they are guiding. Also, many adults are more uncomfortable talking about these subjects than the young people. This means that we do not give youngsters the language to talk about what they are seeing. When the male character in the video of ‘We found our love in a hopeless place’ writes MINE on the woman’s buttocks this is not right, and does not depict healthy relationships. What is more, many people believe that women belong to men, that normal relationships should involve violence, hitting a few slaps and then making up.

The currency that these images hold is alarming. Certainly, when Sparrow and others sang about that in the 50s and 60s, their audiences were different, but the reach of today’s social media and YouTube, for example, is massive and seems limitless.

Parents’ inability to communicate with their children allows this kind of misinformation to flourish. Furthermore, it encourages violence in youngsters’ relationships. This is especially so when all they see at home is violent relations between adults. Or when all they experience is shouting and fighting.

The old saying that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me, is actually false. When we teach young people that violence is good, that it shows love, as these videos offer, they only see that. They get no counter narrative our story. The dominant story of gender-based violence, rape, and hard sex is cool. Apparently, even with some parental involvement, Rihanna still wins out. She is more exciting, more appealing.

We need to seriously look at Rihanna and her product, not at her as a person. She is a product that has been produced with a particular end in mind. She has been managed to sell an image of female subjectivity and hard love. Yet, she is cool. How do we rationalise these facts? Do we even know that she is cool, or for that matter who she is? The record label is not emotionally involved in her (im)morality.

The label sees a way to make money through her and exploit that. She has made the label millions in profits as it has exploited her relationship bust up with Chris Brown, first with ‘Love the way you Lie’ and then with ‘We found our love’. Sadly, this sells. We consume it. What is more, some viewers believe it. This is not only about gender but also about popular culture and its influence in our lives.

Research is beginning to show how much popular culture influences behaviour. Video games, music videos and adverts all influence the way we see ourselves. This is a massively significant coming together of influences that serves to work against healthy relationships and self-image in youngsters.

Hollywood is only interested in bottom lines, and they hold the power and the influence. We need to begin the discussion around healthy youth and gender relations with young people. If we don’t, record labels and Hollywood are only too happy to sell conflict. They are happy to sell unhealthy relationships and poor self-image; these are more interesting than happy, conflict-free lives. Ultimately, what kind of role model is Rihanna the product?