The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

Have you ever accomplished an achievement only to realize that it was not as important as you thought it was? Or have you reached a point in your climb for success only to recognise that many of your ideas about success really belong to someone else?

You are not alone. There are thousands, if not millions of people questioning whether they have climbed the wrong ladder of success, having set goals and objectives that lack meaning or significance.

It’s the ‘monkey see monkey do’ sort of mentally; left unchecked, this habit of empty pursuit builds frustration, leads to dysfunction and eventually produces a sleep-walker’s life of just going through the motion.

The question is – can you change this aimlessness and replace it with meaningful goals? Yes, you can; however, are you willing?

Fact is you alone are in control of your life. Now the degree to which you are actively using your authority to intentionally set your life direction is another story.

I believe that a key factor to this drab approach is the way people define success. More often than not, there is this blind pull towards material accumulation or the notion to comply with the status quo list of things you must have i.e. house, car, career. After which, the next step is to settle into an ordinary life of routines, which for many provides a great standard of living.

Alas, life is not static--it’s dynamic. There is an enormous difference between standard of living and quality of life. When you focus on why you are going rather than just where you are going – you will build a richer, quality life of purpose.

Of course, this all-sounds simple but I know there are many struggling to understand why they are moving in their present direction. This is an essential point to clarify. Unless you know why - you cannot determine what matters and you cannot create any improvement.

Courage is an essential element of any worthy pursuit. In the words of American existential psychologist Rollo May, “the opposite of courage is not cowardice, it is conformity; everybody trying to be like everybody else”.

Make no mistake about it, there is massive power in setting meaningful goals. Your best source of strength is to recognize that you are not like anyone else. Within you, there is a unique melody. To live a life of significance, but you muster the courage to dance to your own music.

Living to please people or worrying about what people may say is a labour in futility. You cannot please everybody at the same time. While setting meaningful goals may not be a simple process, it is indeed doable. When you focus on meaning – what matter most begins to change.

For example: rather than distressing about the size of your house, you become more concerned about making the house a home. Instead of worrying about the price of the shoes, you focus more on the direction you are walking. Truth is, there’s really no point in having expensive shoes on feet that are essentially going nowhere.

Despite your present challenges, your life is not intended to be an aimless journey. When you embrace meaningful pursuits, you awaken to how precious life really is and you learn to give your attention to the things that really matter. Remember that as you shape your life vision, see value in helping others. Service is the key to wealth and happiness. It is truly a worthy ideal.

Today is a great day for you to take the lead in redefining what success means to you. In so doing, you give yourself permission to set meaningful goals that give your life power and purpose. Now is the perfect time shift your life paradigm.

• Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770. Michelle M. Miller is a certified life-coach, leadership expert and author of “Take The Lead”. She is the CEO of TTL Coaching Strategies and founder of the Girls Leadership Coaching Club.