The Tribune

By MICHELLE M MILLER

Life is a continuous process of change. While it is intended to be a productive and enjoyable journey, life also brings its share of ups and down. Joy and pain are the fraternal twins of our emotional transition.

These contrasting emotions become key components of how we meet and move through the colourful adventures of our lives. Enjoying the joy and enduring the pain is a dance of positive and negative emotions.

As such, when faced with pain, people seek a better feeling and sense of relief. Emotional relief, however, is not an overnight solution. It takes time to navigate the process. You must learn to address the cause of your distress. Relief from grief is not a microwave experience.

Taking the needed time to sort through the emotions of the situation is an essential first step. Despite the reason for the pain, you must believe that at your core, you are wired to move towards joy and away from pain. Moving towards something better is a good thing; however, you must not ignore the need to face the pain.

Directly facing your feelings is an important part of the healing process. It helps you to accept your new reality. Your capacity strengthens as you learn to cope and generate better feelings. In changing your feelings, you are better able to deal with changing your life.

We all do the best we can, given what we know. One of the great joys of being a Life-Coach is helping individuals broaden their perception of who they are. Building your capacity is learning to tap into your slice of Life PIE, which is an acronym for Power Influence Engage.

Connecting with your power to influence and engage, you become more confident. Your PIE inspires hopefulness rather than hopelessness.

This may fly in the face of much of what you have been told about who you are or how life works. Nonetheless, when you engage life at a deeper level, you do more than just strive to survive; instead, you learn how to excel and thrive.

Another key setback in finding relief is the courage to ask for help. Many simply don’t have the confidence or humility to seek help. Misled by the thinking that somehow, they are ‘supposed’ to have it all together and getting help is a sign of inadequacy rather than capability.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Our lives are like the ebb and flow of changing tides. We all need a little help now and then. Seeking help does not make you weak; instead, it makes you stronger. With proper help, you can learn to push pass your pain towards your own power.

Coping skills is also about unravelling the premise on which you move through life. Some don’t accept the reality that we are all vulnerable to life uncertainties. They adopt the view that they are somehow exempt from the burden of pain. But life is not selective. When the rain falls, it falls on every housetop. Grief is a key aspect of our human story.

When my mother passed, I remember those awful feelings of blame and utter sadness. The question of ‘why me’ became my internal anthem. But as I walked through the pain, I quickly understood that I was no different from anyone else. We all must endure life’s narrow aisle of pain. Dealing with my pain was a challenge, but it made me a stronger, more capable individual.

In building your capacity, recognize that you are not alone. Others have faced and overcome similar changes. You can too. Seek help and give yourself time to endure the healing process. Soon, you will begin to find peace in the midst of the pieces.

Remember - life is not a drive-through experience. It is an endearing journey of joy and pain. You are a storehouse of possibilities, an original slice of Life PIE. You have the inner strength to face any change. Make today the day that you take the lead in your own life by expanding your definition of who you are.

Now is the perfect time to shift your life paradigm.

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Michelle M. Miller is a certified Life-Coach, Leadership Expert and Author of Take The Lead. She is the CEO of TTL Coaching Strategies and founder of the Girls Leadership Coaching Club. Questions or comments can be sent to email coaching242@yahoo.com or telephone 429-6770.