The Tribune

By Michelle M. Miller

Three key points to consider about life: one, change is our nature; two, everything changes; three, there are no safe spaces to run from change. Once you wrap your head around these key life points, you begin to appreciate the need to build your capacity to cope with change.

While life is designed to be a productive and enjoyable journey, it has its own set of trials and tribulations. Joy and pain become the fraternal twins of our emotions as we transition through life.

These contrasting emotions become key components of how we meet and move through the colourful adventures of our lives. Enjoying the joy and enduring the pain becomes the norm.

When faced with pain, we naturally seek a sense of relief from whatever we are facing. However, such relief is not an overnight experience. It takes time to sort through our emotions and navigate the process of addressing the cause of your distress.

Relief from grief is not a microwave experience. Taking time to sort through the emotions of the situation is an essential first step.

It is not the pain – as much as it is the reason for the pain. Even so, you must believe that there is a cure for your pain, which often lies within. Deep within you, there is the capacity to think, to expand and to cope. This inner strength often lies dormant until you stir it up.

What I find is that until we learn to develop and exercise our muscle of possibility, we often remain in the state of thinking things are impossible. Truth is at you core; you are wired to meet the life changes with confidence.

However, you must build your capacity by unravelling your wiring and understanding what you are made of. It is only then that you will find the courage to face your fears and move towards an improved outcome.

Question is – are you building your capacity to cope with change? Most people are not change-ready and are not engaged in personal capacity building concepts. Instead, many are becoming overwhelmed and broken; feeling that their lives are out of control.

Shattered living is not confident living. You must find time to build your capacity in order to generate better feelings. When you change your feelings, you are better able to change your life.

One of the great joys of being a life-coach is helping individuals broaden their perception of who they are. In so doing, they learn to access their own slice of Life PIE, an acronym for Power Influence Engage.

By connecting with your PIE, you become more confident and hopeful. This may not fit into what you have been told about who you are or how life works. But when you engage life at a deeper level, you gain a deeper understanding. You learn that life is not about surviving but more about becoming equipped to excel and evolve.

Another key setback in building capacity is finding the courage to ask for help. Many do not have the confidence to seek help; believing that they are above needing help or are supposed to have it all together. In this way, they see help as a sign of inadequacy rather than capability.

Nothing could be further from the truth. As life changes, we all need a little help now and then. Nobody is exempt from life’s uncertainties. Seeking help does not make you weak; instead, it makes you stronger. With proper help, you can learn to push pass your pain towards your own power.

The fact of the matter is we cannot do what we do not have the capacity to do. Building your capacity to cope is a gift that you give to yourself. You redefine who you are and you solidify the premise on which you stand.

When my mother passed, I truly did not feel that I had the capacity to cope; so I found the needed help to help me make sense not only what happened but also to make sense of who I was in the face of what happened.

As I navigated that process, I quickly learned that life was change. It was not personal or out to get me. It was just the life being life. We must all learn how to endure the hills and valleys of our lives.

I am convinced that when we are courageous enough to face life with our arms wide open, life meets us just the same - with open arms. The more we trust the stronger and more capable we become.

In building your capacity, recognize that you are not alone. Others have faced and overcome similar changes. You too can do the same by seeking help and giving yourself time to change.

As you make today the day that you take the lead remember that life is not a drive-through experience. It is an endearing journey of joy and pain. Focus on ways in which you can build your capacity to renew your mind and build your strength. You are a storehouse of power and possibilities.

Now is the perfect time to shift your life paradigm.

• Your feedback has great value. Please write to coaching242@yahoo.com or text 429-6770. Michelle M. Miller is a certified Life-Coach, Leadership Expert, and Host of the Radio program – Men & The e-Factor. www.taketheleadbook.com