The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

We are often so weighed down by our challenges we hobble through life hunched over, holding a foggy outlook. Even when presented with opportunities in which to shift towards more clarity, we fearfully opt to remain in that familiar state of pain.

To make it worse, there are fleeting moments of courage when we do take one-step forward only to feel as if we took ten steps back. Thinking we just cannot catch a break, we become discouraged and dejected.

While this is all very distressing, the purpose of life challenges is not to depress but to impress upon you the need to elevate your thinking. They are purely the ebb and flow of life tides. As tides come and go, they offer incredible value. They shape our stories, mold our identity and sculpt our perception of what is possible for our lives.

Everybody hurts sometimes. We all walk down the familiar streets of pain, loss, disappointment and rejection. Many know all too well that awful feeling of being a victim. It is a story people hold near and dear. The challenge here is, many don’t just walk through the streets of pain, they unknowingly make these streets their homes, convinced that their challenges are insurmountable and life offers more potholes than paved roads. As such, they believe that their familiar state of pain is better than the unknown pain they are certain lies ahead.

This kind of self-talk will not support your capacity to take the lead in your life. You are responsible for the words you feed your mind and negative self-talk produces after its kind.

Understand that life stands in support of your best intentions, whether you believe that or not. However, life also has a unique way of impelling you towards something better. The method invariable involves so-called ‘struggle’. However, it is through the struggle that you build your strength.

The question is whether you are willing to shift your mind away from what was and towards what can be. The purpose of life changing tides is to inspire you to look again, with new lenses to redefine yourself.

Unless you are willing to shift, you will remain in the state of staying the same, replaying that same old soundtrack of pain.

Change takes courage but it also involves a process of commitment and confidence. If you start with the right premise – you cannot go wrong. Begin by accepting that life always supports you, rooting for you to make a new, better choice. The question is, are you supporting or sabotaging yourself?

Self-sabotage is challenge for many. Not because they are not trying to change but mostly because they’ve been playing that old negative soundtrack for so long – it’s difficult to adopt a new, positive melody.

Many give in to self-sabotage, blaming it on the delusion that the world is against them. When the truth of the matter is, they are usually sabotaging rather than supporting themselves.

The premise that life all ways supports you must be true for you. Nobody or no challenges have power over you - unless you surrender your power. Even if you did unknowingly surrender your power, it is yours and you can take it back.

You have full authority over your life and over the challenges, you face. It all depends on your state of mind. At your weakest hour of despair, know that life is there with you; inviting you to think a bigger thought about what is possible now – in this moment.

As you move through the ebb and flow of life tides, reaffirm the premise on which you stand. What the tides brings into your life, will change from moment to moment. By supporting yourself, you learn to stand in your own shoes.

Like many of you, I too have walked the rocky road of pain and frustration numerous times. I too wondered - why me? Life response was - why not you? Nobody is exempt from the changing tides of life.

We do the best with what we know. The challenge is we only know what we know - we don’t know what we don’t know. Thus, we must keep learning and expanding our minds.

Be honest with yourself in facing the pain of your past - not as a means of remaining a prisoner of your past - but as a means of setting yourself free from the past.

Recognise that every so-called ‘mess’ offers a life-changing message. If you miss the message – the ‘mess’ becomes a habitual lesson. Supporting yourself means seeking to make peace from the tattered pieces. More than this, it means feeding your mind positive talk.

We say we believe everything is possible, but think this means only so-called good things. But everything being possible means everything - the so-called good, the bad, and the ugly. However, it also means that something better is also possible.

Sabotage is nothing more than negative, interruptive thinking. If your thinking is off, your results will be the same. Releasing the habit of sabotaging yourself gives you emotional freedom from the past.

Too many folk live today holding onto old toxic emotions of what happened yesterday.

Yet they would not eat food that is past its sell-by date, knowing it would poison their body. Similarly, feeding your mind expired emotions begins to weaken your mind. Like your body, your mind deserves quality, nutritious food source.

We talk about changing our mindset, without knowing how our minds become set. The mind is set by the quality of thoughts we allow to take up residence. Thoughts of pain, only produces more pain.

Truth is - there is no enemy – there is only the ‘inner me’. You are either your best friend or your own worst ‘inner me’. No matter the size of the challenges you face, it is no match for the size of your inborn power.

You were not born to hobble through life, hunched over, burdened by pain. You are born for extraordinary expectations. Yes - there will be challenges, but you will face them with courage and confidence.

You cannot win if you are sabotaging yourself. It is a certain path to self-destruction.

Remember that life adores you. It always supports you – just as it supports the animals, plants, and nature itself.

Make today the day that you take the lead in focusing not on what happened then, but on what can happen now. Find the courage to lovingly, support yourself, no matter what.

Now is the perfect time to shift your life paradigm.

• What do you think? Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770. Michelle M. Miller is a certified Life-Coach, Leadership Expert, and Host of the Radio program – Men & The e-Factor. www.taketheleadbook.com or snail mail to P.O. Box CB-13060