The Tribune

Recently a man was shot dead in his yard after being acquitted of raping a minor. The news spread globally that neighbours celebrated his death. Last week we examined the role men are taught to play and the violence and undesirable outcomes that result from these culturally sanctioned roles. This week, perhaps we need to think about the ways sexual violence is condoned in the country.

There are many who are taught from their formative years that domination is all that matters. Sexual violence is about domination and especially in the case of a minor it is about unequal power relations. It is also about men feeling less than men. He must assert his maleness by sexually assaulting a child. It is about men being taught to beat women. It is culturally sanctioned for a man to force sexual relations on someone who is viewed as inferior to him.

Who teaches boys that women are inferior to them? Oftentimes, mothers are the very people that teach young men that they can disregard young women. They also teach young men that they need not be responsible for themselves; they will be taken care of. How often have we seen and heard mothers who rally forth to protect their sons when they are charged with murder or assault? “Not my good son,” they say.

We offer myriad defences for men’s inability to control themselves that equate to victims bearing the blame. When he is charged with sexual assault, people say, she provoked him, she led him on, she wanted him.

How ironic is it that women are usually the ones quick to attack and condemn other women?

How often does a rape occur in this country? Does the country’s legal system send a message that rapists will be free? In the aftermath of the hugely discussed and extremely public gang rape case of the student in India, it becomes clear that many legal systems are irreparably flawed. Sexual violence against women is often punished with a tap on the wrist for a man and the destruction of the victim’s character and soul.

How tragic is it that a young woman takes a case to court only to see her attacker walk free? Worse, everything says that she is responsible for the rape. This is a very sad state of affairs in a country with one of the highest per capita sexual assaults in the region that we say to young women who are attacked, you are wrong. You told him to do it. This smacks of twisted reasoning.

To be sure, many men are brought up on questionable charges of rape. However, in the court of public opinion and many other courts, men are seen as unable to control their desires. If a woman walks by scantily clad, she is enticing the young man and if he attacks her, her attire can be used as his defence. She led him on. Ultimately, we are saying that men are not responsible for their actions. They can kill and nothing will happen to them.

How awful is it when a community will rejoice at someone’s murder? What has the country come to when the legal system is in such tatters that it takes 6 years to bring a man to trial for assault and then he is released? Should we invite him to pick on any other young girl he wishes? Does this open the door to more abuse? Does it show that women are less than? Does it highlight that men can do anything and be accountable to no one? Does it underline that the society and the culture are patriarchal when a man who once held a position of trust and respect in a young girl’s life can be accused of raping her but released by a jury of his peers? While the country is raped and pillaged from above, at the ground level, the same thing is happening. We choose not to see the destruction.

Society has built a house of cards that is teetering treacherously in the wind. We see that society is patriarchal, and that many women enforce the rule that my cock has more rights than anyone’s hen. For a nation that has lofty aspirations of being the region’s top tourist destination and pegs everything on that goal, is it not behoving unto the country to address the image it has created of itself?

The country has become a forlorn place where male responsibility equals zero. Perhaps it is best that the Arab news carried the story. The irony should not be missed. Do we really expect tourists to want to come here for their dose of sexual violence under the sun?

The men who rape young girls are not to be praised. They are to be pitied. It shows an absolute lack of self-respect, responsibility and worth. It further shows that they cannot function in the real world. Moreover, they teach young men that rape is admirable.

The young man who allegedly raped the tourist this year was not heckled by his peers, but celebrated. Ultimately, these pawns are totally disempowered and have been destroyed by the system. Meanwhile, they are destroying all that they see with any potential for beauty in their communities. Yet, the country rewards such behaviour.