The Tribune

EDITOR, The Tribune.

I was deeply moved last week when I read the news that Dr Sandra Dean-Patterson and the Women’s Crisis Centre refused a donation from Mr Lesley Miller who had recently made remarks in the House of Assembly regarding beating his former girlfriend.

I telephoned Dr Patterson, a long-time friend and colleague of my deceased husband, C Paul Cartwright, and applauded her for taking such a stand. “Paul would have been so proud of you,” I told her.

You see, my late husband, who worked for three decades serving his fellow Bahamians in the counselling profession, also worked with abused women. He was grieved to see the cycle perpetuated by the man giving gifts to placate and then the woman softening, dropping charges and allowing the next round of abuse. It seemed like an endless cycle with very little hope for change.

As Dr Patterson stated, this is truly a “teachable moment” for our nation. In essence, by refusing to accept the $1000 cheque from Mr Miller, she shouted by quiet example that the cycle must stop and that money can’t fix everything. Let us allow this “teachable moment” to inspire us and give us all the courage to change.

May it embolden the abused women of our nation to say, “Enough! I will not take any more of your beatings or your money.”

May it embolden the abusers of our nation to recognise the awfulness of their abusive behaviour and to make a conscious decision to change it, rather than to simply react and nurse their egos that have been wounded by rejection.

And on a wider scale, may it give us all the courage to look within and recognise the potential for abuse – both the giving and receiving of – in our own hearts. How easy it is to think and act unkindly towards another person, be he/she a stranger, friend, colleague or family member. And how difficult it is to confront such behaviour, thus allowing it to continue.

Change is difficult and healing seems so far away at times. Let us remember, however, that we have access to the greatest hope and power ever to effect change.

That’s what the Easter Story is all about: “He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him and by His stripes we are healed.” – Isaiah 53:5. 6.

Thank you, Dr Sandra Dean-Patterson, for providing our nation with a “teachable moment”.

May we all learn from it and go forth with changed hearts and behaviours.

PRISCILLA M CARTWRIGHT

Nassau,

March 22, 2014.

• A survey of readers has shown a majority supporting the Crisis Centre decision to reject the donation. See page eight for more.