The Tribune

By Michelle M Miller

You are either your best friend or your worst enemy. If you are living the latter position, then the habit of taking one step forward and take three steps back becomes like a mini prison.

You cannot live with confidence and control inside a ‘self’ that you consistently stand against. 

The biggest challenge with self-sabotage is trying to understand why so many stand against themselves, whether knowingly or unknowingly. A person divided against his/her self cannot stand.

For this reason, self-sabotage is a major vice for many. While there is no simple solution, any improved change begins with a change in your willing desire to decide to support yourself.

You must say that your life is worth it.

But what is self-sabotage and why does it habitually derail our desires? 

It is when one’s behaviour essentially creates a problem or becomes a barrier that interferes with one’s goals or intentions. Some include being double-minded, procrastination, overeating, or the overconsumption of drugs and alcohol.

You sabotage yourself when you do something that stops you from achieving a desired outcome. 

Jill goes on diet, seemingly every other month. For one reason or another, she starts with a bang, but soon enough finds herself ‘snacking’ on something that derails her intended weight loss goal.

Look at Jillian who has been dealing with her weight issue for years. Every few months, she would start a new diet plan, only to find it shelved again weeks later. What Jillian did not realise was not only did her sabotaging behaviour wreck her weight loss goal, but also it bruised her confidence and depleted her energy.      

While doing anything new or different may bring up its share of fear and anxiety, you must still be willing to push on through. 

Just as you kept making the steps despite falling down when you were learning to walk. Be courageous enough to defrost your frozen fears and get on with building yourself a life that you love.

Understand that life stands in support of your best intentions. Life is always pushing you towards something better. It is through the struggle of learning to change that you build your strength to grow.

The only question is, are you willing to trust the life within enough to guide you towards a better you?

Just like you, I too have walked the rocky road of uncertainty and self-doubt when it came to doing something new. I made the decision to get inside my life and be my own best friend.  I had to stand up for my desire to be a better me.  

You must be willing to do the same. Change takes courage and commitment. I challenge you to be courageous enough to be your own best friend and support your best intentions.

Truth is, there is no enemy, there is only the ‘inner me’. Indeed, self-sabotage is a certain path to self-destruction.   

Leader to leader, make today the day that you begin supporting rather than sabotaging yourself. It takes your confidence and support to live the life that you love.

What do you think?  Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or call 429-6770.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life-coach, leadership expert and author.