The Tribune

By DR IAN BETHELL BENNET

WHILE driving down the road on Sunday a jitney was in front of me. Apparently no cars were coming and he was flagged down. He stopped in the middle of the road. The driver sat waiting for the passenger to board. All traffic came to a halt. Fortunately it was a Sunday so there wasn’t too much traffic, however, he could have pulled off to the side of the road; there was ample shoulder to allow him this manoeuvre in order to allow for traffic to flow. He chose, instead, to stop traffic, inconveniencing everyone around him. That was his prerogative! He was flexing his privilege. He is man, he could do that.

The same day I was walking past the jet-ski operators, beach-chair renters, cigar sellers, coconut-drink sellers who had made it almost impassable for those who wanted to get to the beach, unless they passed directly through their mayhem. Of course, this is close to the taxi driver chaos where visitors are accosted to get in a taxi rather than take a scenic walk.

Little does it matter to these men that happy visitors make their lives better; they spend more money and have a better experience. They then share that with others and they want to come back for more. Our behaviour, our performing our privilege, makes people wish not to return.

Such is the society we have created. No one else matters but me.

When a young woman was killed by her boyfriend and police offered that he was assisting with the investigation, no one stepped back to wonder why.

Well, firstly, we have created a society where a man can have his way no matter what. His privilege ensures that no one can stop him. No one can deny him anything. If he does not get his way, he reserves the right to kill or beat or cuss or insult or slap or berate. He is master of his universe. This is how we have made men feel in our society. We have allowed them a privilege that takes away from everyone else’s ability to live.

What would happen if he were actually to become a power broker in our society?

We have created a society where men can deny women equal rights because they assume it takes away from their privilege. They can slap a woman in public because they is man.

Man is in charge. Their power comes from their strength, their ability to dominate through force, their prowess and their vulgarity.

They do not wish to be seen as understanding or easy to get along with.

The performance of their privilege and their masculinity is all about loud insults and hard drinking. They boast about their exploits while on the job. They boast about not having to work anymore this year because they goin’ an drink now for the Christmas. Meanwhile, everyone else suffers their privilege.

The level of violence we live with in this country is beyond that seen in conflict and post-conflict states, or warring nations, yet we think of it as normal.

We see it as normal male privilege to refuse to work. Their women/woman must take care of them.

This is also something we see as normal. We see men beating women as normal and a man who does not force a woman to have sex must not be a man. If she says no, she is wrong. He dominates the world. Such is the problem with a society that is inherently unequal.

Government spends millions of dollars on getting tough on crime and violence, yet they do not address the very structural problems that cause the violence. They put more police on the streets, but police do not stop bus drivers who are flexing their big muscles.

They still stop and hold up traffic so that they, big man, can control the world. They do not stop fellas who are cussing the girls out on Bay Street, nor do they stop the young and older men, alike, who are offensive to the tourists.

This behaviour, to them, is acceptable.

However, men do not behave like senseless aggressors as a demonstration of their masculinity in every culture. What ends up happening when the police are empowered in such a way, is that they then flex their big, masculine muscles, and once the law endorses them, they are unstoppable. Those who suffer are the poor and weaker. The structure of our society ensures that men behave violently. It makes them want to urinate on every street corner to mark their territory.

Perhaps we need to look at a popular comedian’s new fight to undo years of trouble and the resultant allegations against him. If the allegations of sexual assault are true, then they speak to a hypermasculinity that empowered him to think that it was OK for him to drug and have sex with women who did not want to have sex with him. He deserved it. His power and masculine privilege, as sad as it is, made him believe that his privilege allowed him or entitled him to do as he pleased with whomever he pleased. He did not give a rat’s tail what happened because he knew, as a powerful man, that no one would challenge him. And, even if some small, insignificant woman dared to challenge him, who would believe her? Didn’t she know that society would back the big man?

It is truly tragic when so many allegations have been laid against one person who seemed so wholesome, but who used that image to assert a terrible power over women who he saw as weaker than him. What are we doing to the men in our society that endows them with such privilege that they feel they can stop traffic while they make a living, when it is easier to allow everyone to coexist? Why have we given so many men, or simply put, all men, male privilege that allows them to behave in demeaning ways in public and private to everyone they choose to demonstrate their privilege over?

When there are so many allegations levied against one man, something must be wrong. When there are so many moments of male privilege causing serious social problems, something must be wrong. We seem to be blind to the fact that in order to survive as a society, we need to address the patriarchal structure we inhabit that grants male privilege to men because they think they deserve it. This allows them to urinate on every tree and kick everyone who passes in front of them.