The Tribune

By Michelle Miller

Everybody wants something new. This is especially true at the start of the New Year when many people express their desire to trade in the old and seek out the new. Be it a new job, body, relationship, career or any number of new material things. Bottom line is, they are finished with the old and ready for something fresh. Question is, are you addressing what it takes to really experience this something new?

Here is an interesting scenario. For the past five years, Robyn has complained about her dissatisfaction with her weight. One day, she sets out on an exciting new path to wellness, doing a good job for the first three weeks. But as habit would have it, by week five, Robyn found herself back in the same old familiar place of giving up.

It was just too hard, taking too much time. Common on her list of excuses for quitting: overly complicated calorie counting, or the programme simply was not working.

The truth of the matter was, while Robyn said she wanted a new state of wellness, she spent no real time addressing her underlying issues.

The search for something new has a way of tripping most of us up. Robyn was no exception. Shortly after her fortieth birthday, she found herself in a downward spiral of low, depressed thoughts about herself and her weight.

Despite her many material achievements and position of affluence, deep within, Robyn simply was not happy. Instead of addressing this issue, she found it easier to put the blame on her weight. If only she could just lose the weight, her picture perfect life, would be perfect. Still, despite numerous attempts at the wellness fad, Robyn’s weight persisted.

Like anyone else struggling with low self-esteem, Robyn’s mind soon became a magnet for negativity. In particular, she held the worse thoughts about herself, like not being good enough. If only she had a better metabolism or people did not like her because of her weight.

According to Robyn, the world would be a much nicer place, if she were slim. These negative weeds received the best of care and began to infest Robyn’s mind. As far as she was concerned, her problem was her weight, not the destructive thinking weighing down her mind.

In this scenario, the core challenge was not Robyn’s weight but her inner dialogue. Her train of thought was not driving towards her desired outcome. Although she claimed to be seeking something new, she paid no attention to thinking something new. Without a change in thinking patterns, old habits reclaimed their position in her mind.

Imagine if Robyn had instead acknowledged that she was worthy and was enough. If she learned to admire her strengths, appreciate herself and practiced positive self-talk, what would happen? How much value would such a shift in thinking produce for Robyn?

Shifts in thinking hold tremendous value. The most important is moving her self-perception from negative to positive. This is the trump card in the deck of change.

Feeling good about herself would empower her to give herself time to change her habits. The issue of weight is seldom about what you are eating as much as it is about what’s eating you.

Low self-esteem and poor self-perception was eating away Robyn. There are thousands of Robyn’s out there; spending the bulk of their resources chasing something new without thinking something new. Real change takes time and real change begins with a change of mind.

Learning to let go of negative self-talk is the key to unlocking the new life within you. Words you host in your mind become the architects of your thoughts and action. You must clear away any clutter of negative thoughts that is weighing you down and build a new thinking framework. Your life changes when you mind changes and your mind must change first.

Having re-evaluated the way she sees and feels about herself, Robyn found the courage to address those underlying feelings. This enabled her to reorient her thinking patterns and refocus her mind. While she is still working down her weight, she is in a more positive, empowered space. She is on her way to not only wellness but to wholeness with confidence and power to recreate her life on her own terms. She can lead a life that she loves.

From leader to a leader, you too can do the same. Begin by re-imagining yourself. As you consider those new things, you seek for 2014, commit to re-evaluating your self-perception and elevate the quality of your thinking.

Make today the day that you lead the way. Now is the time to live the life you love.

• Your feedback has great value; please write to coaching242@yahoo.com or text 429-6770. Michelle M. Miller is a certified Life-Coach, Leadership Expert, and Host of the Radio program – Men & The e-Factor. www.leader2leaderalliance.com