The Tribune

My Michelle M Miller

Who goes to the ice cream parlour and orders a bitter flavoured ice cream cone? Nobody would; it’s an odd thing to do since having an ice cream cone is supposed to be an enjoyable experience.

Yet, when it comes to life, many are licking bitter flavoured ice cream cones, mainly because they are reliving the old hurts and pains of the past.

When it comes to managing yourself, having it all together seems easy until the crazy, raging winds of change blow your way and reveal what you are really made of.

After one too many storms, rather than getting better, many are left with deep-seated bitterness. But life is dynamic not static.

It offers dark storms and bright sunny days.

You must be resilient if you are to change your ice cream flavour from bitter to better. Getter better takes heart. Focus on where you are now and determine ways in which to can leave behind old bitter pastures. One great strategy is to get away from the noise. Be still and know. Take an honest assessment of yourself.

Self-assessment is not supposed to be self-condemnation. Treat yourself with love. Any personal changes you desire to make must be made with self-love, otherwise you run the risk of becoming your own enemy.

Another good test is to look at the way you present yourself to the world. Self-presentation is not solely about the clothes you wear, but the attitude you bring to the table.

Your attitude reflects how you feel about yourself – be it bitter or better.

To get better at managing your life is your responsibility. You cannot order a better flavoured ice cream cone if you are still holding on to bitterness. Bitterness attracts bitterness.

Whatever is blocking your breakthrough, let it go; it’s not worth it. It has already happened. Take back your power from the past. Nothing you do today will change yesterday. Forgiving and letting go is a gift you give to yourself.

While you cannot rewrite the past, you can shape your future. Life is 10 per cent what happens to you and 90 per cent how you deal with what happens. 
I know for sure that every challenge, struggle and the many so-called ‘mess’ I endured in my life, served as a valuable life lesson. You see it’s not the mess – but the message we learn from the mess that makes us better. To get better you must be better.
Leader to leader, your life is the vehicle and you are the driver. Get in a better lane. Choose a better flavoured ice-cream. When you get better inside your life, the outside gets better too. Make the better choice to get better at living the life that you love.

• What do you think? Send comments questions to coaching242@yahoo.com.

Michelle M Miller is a certified life-coach, leadership expert and author.