The Tribune

By Kevin L A Ewing

kevinewing@coralwave.com

kevinlaewing.blogspot.com

I am of the view that one of the greatest insults to any person who is going through a painful, hurting or difficult period in their life, is to have those that they would look to for support either ignore their cries for help, take the side of whatever or whoever is causing them hurt, shrug them off or categorise the hurting person’s hurt/pain as a nonissue.
It is beyond my human understanding how insensitive some folks can be concerning the hurt and pains of others, particularly those that they claim to love and care for.

Please bear in mind that you must never reduce what that pain or hurt is doing to that person. In fact, you just could possibly be the last human contact they were attempting to reach out to prior to ending their life.

I want to share some of what I think is much needed wisdom in these trying and hurting times that so many folks are experiencing.

The following are some pointers to consider prior to what could possibly turn out to be or appear as insensitive behaviour:

1. Make time for those you know are hurting.

2. Let those that are hurting vent.


3. Whomever or whatever has caused the hurt to the one that is hurting, do not play referee by pointing out to the person who is hurting who is right or who is wrong; now is not the time for that.


4. Please for the love of God, do not, and I mean do not, turn this hurting person’s pain into an argument.


5. Cement into your mind that you are there to make things better for them, not to become an added thorn in their side.


6. Practice listening more as opposed to talking. Some hurting folks just want to talk, that’s it. They just want to be heard without interruptions.


7. Always remember, do your best to try and understand the pain of others as opposed to attempting to be all intellectual and giving the appearance of having it all together. Even though you may think what you want to say is good advice, they may not want to hear that advice at the time. Timing of advice is key my friend.


8. If you must speak, please remember this is not about you! Instead it is all about the one who’s currently living this ordeal. So put your anger, impatience and pride on hold for now.


9. Do your best to be real with them, meaning do not behave as if you can’t wait for this to be over with, or give them the impression that you have more important things to do.


10. In all honesty, scripture is probably the last thing they would want to hear. Again timing is everything in delicate matters such as these.


11. Last but certainly not least, always remember your day of hurt and pain is pending as it is for all of us, so your behaviour towards the hurting now are the seeds that will come home to harvest when your turn arrives.


“Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you” – Matthew 7:12.

Think before you speak!