The Tribune

By Rev Angela C Bosfield Palacious

Most of us want to do better as parents than we actually do, but very often it is a matter of feeling overwhelmed. It is not always as simple as doing what our parents did, if their example was a less than satisfactory one. God may want to do a totally new thing in your family. I invite you to prayerfully ponder the following recommendations.

1. Honestly examine what your childhood and youth were like as this can help you to determine what to keep and what to change.
2. Reflect on the role of a responsible parent and discuss with other adults involved in your child’s nurture and training:


• To be a source of love
• To be a source of praise and encouragement
• To teach discipline
• To lead by example
• To assist the child with the development of self-worth
• To help the child become a responsible citizen
• To prepare the child to survive in the world
• To act as a guide, teacher, healer, mentor, counsellor
• To display maturity, commitment, devotion, dedication, self-sacrifice and unconditional love.


3. Consider seriously the following possible causes of family conflict:
Parents who have favourites and treat their children differently (especially if they have different fathers). In fact, we are responsible for the well-being and general happiness of each child. No child should be victimised or ostracised at home.
Parents who do not properly supervise and control their children when they are young. There is no question that we are responsible for the safety and security of our children. They should not be left home alone if they are under age. Children need to know the limits and boundaries of acceptable behaviour and should be rewarded and punished accordingly.
Ask yourself the following questions:


• How do I relate personally to each of my children?
• Do I speak to them more harshly and handle them more roughly than I should?
• Do I admit when I am wrong and apologise?
• Do I teach my children about God, prayer and faith?
• Do I know who my children’s friends are?
• Do I supervise their use of television, computer, and cell phone?
• Do I check their homework even when in high school and listen to them read daily (if they are in primary school)?
• Do I attend PTA meetings and other school events?
• Do I curse, abuse drugs, or engage in criminal behaviour or act in a manner that is anti-social?
• Do I want my children to follow my example?
• Am I honest, kind, courteous, well-mannered (saying please and thank you etc.)?

• Am I a person of integrity (faithful in my relationships, morally upright, hard-working etc.)?
 
4. Make an effort to bridge the generation gap:


• Pray for them by name daily and for their teachers and friends
• Listen to their personal experiences
• Visit the homes of their friends
• Attend parenting classes and seminars on home and family life
• Attend support groups for parents
• Work in the community or church with children and young people
• Engage in family activities (picnics, drives, walks, games, community projects)
• Have family conferences to discuss ways to save money, good nutrition, sharing of tasks and chores etc.

Let us all pray for more responsible parents, for peace and love in all Bahamian homes, and for healing in our land.