The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

THERE was a time in the not-so-distant past when families were expected to give up everything in order to achieve the level of financial security most craved.

Perhaps you remember those decades; perhaps you are too young to recall such times.

Those were the days when dad was the sole breadwinner. A time when climbing the proverbial ladder of success was considered a well-regarded activity.

It led many companies to move employees from city to city, like pawns in a chess game, and if you had any hopes of climbing towards an upper management position you quickly packed up your family and moved wherever you needed to go. Be it out of city, out of state or out of country; or migrating from the Family Islands to New Providence or abroad.

Needless the say, this extrinsic pursuit took its toll and in the intervening years the family nucleus began to erode. Divorce rates escalated, fathers lost touch with their families, and after retirement many felt useless and unproductive.

Then of course, women entered the workforce in earnest; joining the infamous ‘rat race’. As Lily Tomlin said: ‘The trouble with the rat race is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat’. Today, not much has changed.

Indeed, the ‘rat race’ as it were, has picked up more speed. More and people remain in hot pursuit of career success, leaving behind the needs of their overall well-being.

For a vast number of folks, their work has taken over their lives. They live more for working – not working to live. It seems actually living part of living never really happens.

Having read thus far, you too may be thinking that your life needs more balance. You may say it to yourself all the time. That you need to spend less time at work and more time at home with family and friends or spend more quality with yourself; sitting quietly alone in meditation. Perhaps you’ve even mentioned this to your spouse, best friend, doctor or co-workers.

Yet, day in day out, year after year, you do nothing. If this is your truth, there’s a distinct possibility that work has taken over your life. The question is what will you do differently today to change this result?

Sure, habits may be hard to break, but with effort they can be broken.

First things first, you must acknowledge that work has taken over your life. Secondly, you must decide whether you want change your results. Third and finally, you must choose to change by changing your thinking. Nothing changes without changing your mind.

Problem here is many think having a successful career equals having a successful life. Hillary Clinton put it well when she said, “Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.”

Having a life takes deliberate intention. It takes work to balance your work-life. And unless you are willing to take these key steps, you cannot reclaim control over your life. You leave yourself at risk of remaining a slave to your work; telling yourself that you are supposedly working for a life that you never truly get to live.

Leader to leader, remember you don’t have to do it alone. Confidence is having the courage to ask for help. Consider enrolling in a coaching programme that offers you the tools and supportive framework needed to develop healthy life balance habits.

My goal here is to inspire you to find ways to leave the ‘rat race’ and join the race for living the life you love. Make today the day that you do the work to live a life filled with more balance and meaning.

What do you think? Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770, visit www.michellemmiller.com or send snail mail to PO Box CB-13060.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach and leadership expert.