The Tribune

Over the years, graphic and web designers have had the honour of listening to countless outrageous requests and stories from potential clients. Some we have laughed out loud over, and there were others where we had no choice but to walk into another room to avoid throwing the computer through a closed window. Yes, this is an accurate statement.

Experience has taught us how to control a loose cannon, and “smile to keep the lid on”. Resist the devil and, hopefully, he flees. With that said, I have put together a list of the most frequent and hated phrases we hear from clients:

“I have a simple project. It shouldn’t take you very long”.

Do people schedule a medical procedure and inform the surgeon that it should not take him/her more than two hours to fix a punctured organ? Absolutely not. The same rule applies to the design world. This phrase is basically telling the designer you do not want to spend the time or money to have your project done properly.

“The last designer I hired was horrible and won’t give me my files”.

Sometimes things just do not go as planned which is understandable. But when a design relationship starts with this phrase, it makes us wary, and raises the question of whether the previous designer really was awful, or if there was a lack of communication that ended in total project failure. Or, are they holding the files due to non-compensation? Is this any indication of how our relationship will end?

“I know this is the fifth alteration, but can you just… - or - I just need…”

Not sure why, but it seems like adding the word “just” inevitably means: “I want the best, I want it cheap, I want it now.” For example: “Can you just add a red colour instead of pink?” or “can you just add more pictures to my website?” Sure I can, but it JUST won’t be cheap and it JUST won’t be quick.

“Let me just ask my wife/kids/Best Friend what they think”.

Really? We assume you have hired a professional design company, but if your 12 year-old daughter or buddy know better, by all means.

“I need the design in Word so I can make changes myself”.

There is a good reason why designers use programs such as Photoshop and InDesign. Microsoft Word is a great program for basic text formatting, and there is no reason why you should not use it in a home or office environment. However, it is not a design program. Asking a designer to design in Microsoft Word is like asking an engineer to build a bridge using Lego.

“My website was working, but…”

Months passed without issues, then problems pop up!. Yet you contracted to go it alone…. No problem, of course we will correct it.

“Wow that was easy. Why so expensive?”

Ah, I imagine this question causes smoke to seep through the nose of designers. Good work is hard to find and it usually cannot be sold to the lowest bidder. Besides, it took five years to learn how to do it in less than 10 minutes.

“My site just needs some minor tweaking”.

Sometimes minor updates are needed, and ‘simple fix’ scenarios rarely go smoothly. Be careful of the words “tweaking” because, more likely than not, the client may send you on a one-way trip to hell.

“I want a simple, clean design, but…”

Most clients have an idea about the look and feel of their website. However designers appreciate background information and a clear direction before starting a project. A project may spiral when a client asks for one thing, then picks away at it until the vision is all but lost.

“Use a photo from my Facebook Page”

Designers are creative and can initiate some pretty amazing designs, but we are not magicians. If you present a pixelated, web-based logo, we will not be able to use it on a 10-foot banner. Also, if you do not have a company bio and employee photos for your ‘About Page’, should the designer make one up? Further, if you have a unique product that has to be seen in action, stock photographs and photo shopping is not appropriate. The actual should be exhibited.

“I paid another designer $5,000 for my site and it’s messed up. Can you help?”

This cry always seem to win the ‘Marlin Award’. Clients who have been raked over the coals, because they went with the lowest estimate and received lacklustre results, are predictable.

Fed up, they call the former designer, hoping for a life raft. Well, the conversation usually goes like this: “I spoke to you about three months ago, I hired a different designer and spent an exorbitant amount of money, but they never completed my project. Can you help”? Again, this scenario is a gloomy one, but of course we help.

Statements like these may sometimes become irritating, and perhaps seem mischievous, but some clients really do not understand the time, skill and concentration involved in the pursuit. To avoid the hassle and broken business relationships, try to clarify any misunderstandings beforehand. Successful business people find the time and patience to figure out how to work around the demands of their clients. Until we meet again, fill your life with memories rather than regrets. Enjoy life and stay on top of your game.

• NB: Columnist welcomes feedback at deedee21bastian@gmail.com

ABOUT COLUMNIST: Deidre Bastian is a professionally trained graphic designer/marketing coordinator with qualifications of M.Sc., B.Sc., A.Sc. She has trained at institutions such as: Miami Lakes Technical Centre, Success Training College, College of the Bahamas, Nova Southeastern University, Learning Tree International, Langevine International and Synergy Bahamas.