The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

WE all want to believe that we are getting better at living our lives, maximising our potential and really becoming who we are born to be. However, one too many difficulties may leave you feeling bitter and resentful. Life is indeed a challenge, but then again, it is also an adventure. 

 It is not just an adventure, it is your personal journey and only you can determine whether it’s getting better or bitter. One great way to check is to find a quiet place and reflect. 

I find that assessing yourself with honesty and love is the only true way to determine how you are doing in your life.

Another way is to examine the way you present yourself, not so much looking at the clothes you wear, where you live or what you drive, but more so at your attitude, your sense of humility and responsibility. 

Sometimes, the people wearing the most beautiful clothes are not always the most beautiful feeling people. Similarly, those with less appealing apparel are often the nicer, more authentic individuals. 

Self-presentation is an interesting perspective to observe, especially at work.

Workplaces are complex places overflowing with mixed emotions. They are fascinating places to observe whether people are becoming better and bitter.

Thomas Herold says “most people work in places they don’t like to buy stuff they don’t need”. If this is the premise, then it is no wonder many people are bitter at work, rather than better. How do you rise above this when you feel stuck in a place where you really do not want to be?

This is a major hurdle, but there is hope. One strong motivation is to recognise the negative impact bitterness have on our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. You cannot experience health and happiness living with a bitter disposition. Bitterness produces more bitterness.

Letting go of the past and releasing those tightly-held bitter feelings is really a gift you give to yourself. You cannot change the past but you can create your future. Key to creating a better future is building your mental and emotional capacity.  You cannot improve your life without first improving yourself.

Somebody said that life is 10 per cent what happens to you and 90 per cent how you deal with what happens. I believe this to be true. Every challenge, every struggle and every obstacle that I experienced turned out to be incredible opportunities for me to get better. 

The same is true for you. But you must trust and believe in yourself. If you are a willing student, life is a remarkable, patient teacher. It offers you chance after chance to stretch your thinking and change your perception.      

 We each show up in life according to how we really feel. Yet, we alone are responsible for our feelings. It seems so easy to get angry over what seems a small thing. Anger never solves the issue; instead it tends to make matters worse. Because anger leads to aggression and aggression leads to physical and or emotional violence. 

The truth is the anger is not the problem. It is the reason why you are angry that you must address.

Leader to leader, you are the driver - you turn the key. You can choose to stay bitter or you can commit to getting better at living a healthy happy life. The choice is yours. Make today the day that you choose to get better in order to live the life that you love.  

• What do you think?  Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770.