The Tribune

ANOTHER week, and sadly, another “weak” display by some of our elected officials. Shall we get started?

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

Out to lunch

Can someone please get me the measurements of the glass mansion Golden Gates MP and Minister of Labour Shane Gibson lives in?

This week, Minister Gibson jumped in the Baha Mar fight and chastised Mr Izmirlian (better known as “Sharkis” in this column) for supposedly “acting contrary to the policies and rules of the Bahamas” for little more than exercising free-speech in a supposed democracy.

Mr Gibson actually suggested having foreign investors “do a psychological evaluation” before being allowed to do business here.

Now I’m all for foreign investors having to undergo inkblot tests in order to do business in the Bahamas, provided we have all political candidates and sitting politicians, the government of the day and the opposition party tell us whether they see butterflies or three elephants fighting over a balloon prior to every general election in order to verify their sanity as well.

Get out your straight jackets everyone!

Seriously, it’s disingenuous how Mr Gibson suffers from selective amnesia at times.

Can he not remember his own reckless antics while in office, just eight years ago, in February 2007, when he was forced to resign from his ministry because his own actions were “contrary to the policies and rules of the Bahamas”?

Minister Gibson, allow me to jog your memory for you in three words – Anna Nicole Smith.

I’m not going to dig up old skeletons, but we all remember the sordid details surrounding that whole international scandal, and how Mr Gibson “acted out his head” at the time with his odd decision making. Seems the same “crazy spell” has taken hold of Shane again.

Ah, the hypocrisy of our democracy!

Somebody please get several vats of windex and a one-ton roll of paper towel to Mr Gibson’s pane-filled palace, he’s got some shining up to do. To quote Mr Miyagi, “wax on, wax off, Gibson.”

Besides, I’ve watched enough professional wrestling over the years to see a tag team forming, and reiterating the tasteless remarks by Foreign Affairs Minister and Fox Hill MP Fred Mitchell, which were made to both the foreign and local press, makes

Mr Gibson look muppet-like.

It seems an alliance is forming between Mr Mitchell and Mr Gibson, and all this political theatre shows there are agendas and plans being laid in the background (see Mr Mitchell’s Emancipation Day speech.)

I don’t know what the future holds for Mr Christie at the PLP’s convention come November, but I do suggest he does all his “shuffling” in chainmail and armour; the long knives are being sharpened and most certainly are ready to come out.

Evolution my dear Christie, political evolution!

Out of time

Speaking of evolution, I would imagine many of our “over 60” politicians with ambitions to one day become prime minister – who are not currently sitting in a soft, comfy, leadership chair – are getting anxious.

Not only are they getting longer in the tooth with each passing day but their window of opportunity to take the political reins is fast closing.

That may explain why many of them are “talking fool” in public these days. In their panicked state of delirium over potentially losing out on their chance to “run tings” they are becoming frantic, mean-spirited and downright embarrassing.

I must admit initially I was somewhat amused watching certain government ministers clamber out of the woodpile this past week. To me, it was like watching The Hunger Games come to life right here at home.

First, Minister Brave Davis – who currently sits in the penultimate position – peered from behind his fortified district to tepidly support Prime Minister Christie in his stance in the Baha Mar debacle.

Next, Minister of Foreign Affairs Fred Mitchell, who currently appears to be campaigning for prime minister, alternately chose the United Nations as the forum to pretend to be a victim, and then his constituency of Fox Hill to practice being the bully.

He outright admitted that he has aspirations to become prime minister, and he’s letting the rest of the PLP party know he’s armed with a big mouth and can “play crazy” too.

Finally, with more time on his side and less fire in his belly to takeover now, the (slightly) younger minister Shane Gibson stuck his head into the open with his own loose talk, a salvo of sorts, to show he was still a player in the game.

As interesting as it was to watch politicking at its worst, we still have many things to deal with right now, and no time to focus on PLP internal power struggles masquerading as patriotism.

Does Minister Davis have any answers on BAMSI yet?

Does Minister Mitchell know what diplomacy truly means? Never mind that his contemporaries have accomplished a great feat this week (and no doubt saved the world) by reaching a landmark agreement with Iran on its nuclear programme, we here at home would just be happy if Mr Mitchell can save us a trimester’s wait to get a passport.

The more they speak the more it becomes obvious why the old guard is clashing with new, younger voices in our democracy; the over 60 set have one more electoral cycle (approximately 20 months) to get into that coveted cushiony spot.

In short, time is running out.

Out of touch

Nowhere is it more apparent that there is a new generational divide in this country than in the current administration’s pseudo outrage at “Sharkis” referring to his team at Baha Mar as “citizens”.

Minister Shane Gibson actually stood in parliament and expressed his dismay at a metaphorical term that poses no more threat to this country than, say, Rihanna’s “navy”. Or Beyonce’s BeyHive. Or Nicki Minaj’s Barbz. (And believe you me, there are plenty Barbz running around out here).

The use of terms such as these are an overt branding exercise, not a covert brainwashing exercise. One minute anyone of us could be a “dream chaser” (Meek Mills fans) and less than 16 bars later we could be Team OVO (Drake fans).

Get the picture?

But questioning Bahamians’ loyalty and patriotism just because some of us proclaim ourselves members of “Cowboy nation” or “Laker nation” or (God forbid) “Dolfan nation” or even “Baha Mar nation” reeks of a creeping McCarthyism. And McCarthyism stinks.

Sure, there are other names Baha Mar could have used but “Martian” (as in Tamartian) already belongs to Tamar Braxton (and she’s a real alien).

Would you have preferred “hooligans”? Sorry, they roll with Bruno Mars.

The point is, I think it is best to consider Christian author Toni Sorenson’s words: “Those who resist positive change will find themselves deformed, but those who embrace it will find themselves transformed.”

If our leaders feel the phraseology Baha Mar “citizens” represents a “treasonous” or perhaps even “‘existential” threat to this country then we’re in big trouble.

At least for the moment.

Evolution, my dear Christie, evolution!

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ on KISS FM 96.1 from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net