The Tribune

WEEK 13

Packers at Lions

RENALDO: Aaron Rodgers just turned 32 yesterday. My God...imagine what Olivia Munn did to surprise him. Unless it’s fixing Jordy Nelson’s knee, I’m not sure if it makes much of a difference.

LIONS over Packers

SANNIE:  Boy, I  don’t know what Clay Matthews does with his hair, but I am officially jealous of it. His sexiness doesn’t hurt either.

PACKERS over Lions

Texans at Bills

RENALDO: I’m concerned about what happens to the city of Houston if the Texans start winning and DeAndre Hopkins becomes friends with James Harden. By concerned I meant can’t wait to see what happens.

TEXANS over Bills

SANNIE: Hmmmmm, Buffalo wings or Texas toast? As much as I love me some wings, nothing beats a good, cheesy, garlic texas toast.

TEXANS over Bills

Ravens at Dolphins

RENALDO: The Dolphins have fired three coaches this season, head coach and both coordinators. That means we’re on our fourth culture change. I really need this season to be over.

DOLPHINS over

Ravens

SANNIE: Ok Renaldo, you win again. I feel like I have been picking the Dolphins, even when you haven’t been picking them. Now that is loyalty (or stupidity)?

DOLPHINS over

Ravens

Bengals at Browns

RENALDO: Even when they lost their only exciting game of the season, Browns fans still found a way to troll Miami with their massive “At last we still have LeBron sign” at Monday’s game. I wish them nothing but misery.

BENGALS over Browns

SANNIE: I am done with the Browns, they don’t deserve to have my last name. Seriously, they bring shame to it.  I might as well start going as Dorsett from now.

BENGALS over Browns

49ers at Bears

SANNIE: As sexy as Colin is, even he can not convince me to choose them. Sorry, Bears it is.

BEARS over 49ers

RENALDO: I don’t have the heart to tell her Kaepernick hasn’t played in weeks and is done for the year. The Bears lost to Brock Osweiler, so is it completely out of the realm of possibility that they lose to Blaine Gabbert this week? Yes, yes it is. Also, had some Rice-A-Roni this week and I’ve decided the city of San Francisco shouldn’t hang their hats on that. It’s pretty bad. San Francisco needs a new treat.

BEARS over 49ers

Jaguars at Titans

SANNIE: I always wanted a jaguar, the car not the cat. Maybe one day when I get rich off of picking football games I will buy me one.

JAGUARS over Titans

RENALDO: A few weeks removed from the ugliest game in football history, I still haven’t forgiven the Jaguars’ franchise. I wish this game would end in a tie.

TITANS over Jags

Seahawks at Vikings

SANNIE:Russell, Russell, Russell, all season I have been cheering for you, I believed in you, yet somehow you continue to let me down. I want to choose you, I really want to, but I want to win more. Sorry love.

VIKINGS over

Seahawks

RENALDO: With no talented quarterbacks actually playing in the city of Miami, I’m resigned to rooting for quarterbacks from Miami. This is all an elaborate ploy to one day play that lame “Coming Home” song incessantly once Teddy Bridgewater signs with the Dolphins.

VIKINGS over

Seahawks

Jets at Giants

SANNIE: New York vs New York, so I randomly choose the Giants.

GIANTS over Jets

RENALDO: The battle of New Jersey has lost a lot of its lustre. The last battle of New Jersey I found entertaining was when Tony went head-to-head with the Lupertazzi family. We can only hope this game fades to black at the end.

GIANTS over Jets

Cardinals at Rams

SANNIE: The Cardinals are 9-2, this one is pretty easy.

CARDS over Rams

RENALDO: Sometimes it is that easy. This is why she wins so much money (can I say that? I’m still not sure how gambling works here).

CARDS over Rams

Falcons at Bucs

SANNIE:  My brother’s favourite team or my favourite reality show…hmmmm. Sorry bro, ratchet TV wins every time.

FALCONS over Bucs

RENALDO: I’m just waiting for the moment when the hip-hop community reneges the Matty Ice nickname from Matt Ryan. Also does Jameis have a horrible nickname yet? We’re getting to that point soon aren’t we?

BUCS over Falcons

Broncos at Chargers

SANNIE: I’m not going against Peyton, apparently he is like a god to some people.

BRONCOS over

Chargers

RENALDO: Again, do I even mention that Peyton’s not playing? Maybe not, it’s better this way. I went against the Broncos during the first two games of the Brock Osweiler era. Full disclosure - I had no idea he was a 6’8” giant. He also looks exactly like Edward from the Twilight movies whereas Philip Rivers is as close to a wild rabid werewolf as a person can be. Team Edward.

BRONCOS over

Chargers

Chiefs at Raiders

SANNIE: Man, this is starting to bother me that I have to choose the Raiders, but they are surprisingly doing better. I think it’s because of me though, just saying.

RAIDERS over Chiefs

RENALDO: You look at this matchup and think bitter rivalry, I look at it and think really good colour combination, Bo Jackson vs. Christian Okoye, Rich Gannon swapping uniforms, and taco trucks versus Kansas City Barbecue. Barbecue wins.

CHIEFS over Raiders

Panthers at Saints

SANNIE: The Panthers are still undefeated, easy choice.

PANTHERS over Saints

RENALDO: Are the Panthers the only undefeated underdog in the NFL? Is Cam the second biggest loudmouth on his team behind John Norman? We have every reason to love this team forever.

PANTHERS over Saints

Eagles at Patriots

SANNIE: Patriots might have lost one game, but Tom Brady is still a beast.

PATRIOTS over Eagles

RENALDO: The Eagles defence gave up 90 points in two games. Tom Brady has given up a loss to one backup quarterback already. This football logic is boring. I’m not a fan.

PATRIOTS over Eagles

Colts at Steelers

SANNIE: Since I don’t know anything about any of these teams, I will just go with the Steelers. This one can go any way.

STEELERS over Colts

RENALDO: We know Mike Tomlin will drag Big Ben’s concussion-riddled carcass onto the field to give the Steelers a chance to win. We know Matt Hasslebeck is 947 years old. We know both defences are humiliating to their cities and we know anything can happen in this ridiculous league.

STEELERS over Colts

Cowboys at Washington Racial Slurs

SANNIE: Even though I am not supposed to be choosing Washington, the Cowboys are beyond terrible. I have to win, so I have to put my morals aside for a second.

WASHINGTON over Cowboys

RENALDO: I’ve seen you “put your morals aside” for at least eight million seconds, not shocking. Also, never seen a western film where I’ve wanted the Cowboy to win. Tarentino might change that with the Hateful 8, but in a classic Cowboy/Indian matchup...always with the underdog.

WASHINGTON over Cowboys