The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

THIS week, half the Cabinet was globetrotting and we saw the battle over the proposed National Health Insurance (NHI) scheme continue to play out as a war of words between the government, the Bahamas Insurance Association (BIA), Sanigest and various factions, producing dramatic headlines.

After they’ve seen Paree

Mr Christie and half of his Cabinet trotted off to Europe, ostensibly to attend the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Paris, France. Somewhere along the journey, there were some ministers posting Facebook updates coming out of Malta, London and everywhere in between.

No doubt the COP21 talks are very important to countries like ours in particular, where a rise in global temperatures will mean a rise in ocean levels which will mean it’s time to throw on your snorkels, folks.

Yes, it’s important that we are well represented at a conference as game-changing as this one. No, the PM did not have to take 90 per cent of the government with him.

All those tickets, hotel rooms, meals, per diems and other expenses were picked up by the taxpayers. And judging by previous trips, we know Mr Christie and his “Operation Delegation” will cost us a pretty penny with their “refined tastes”.

The Minister of Foreign Affairs went to Paris. Okay, makes sense.

The Minister of Tourism went to Paris. Okay, I can live with that.

But to know that just about every junior Minister and their mother made the trip just seems wasteful to me.

Deputy Prime Minister Philip Davis didn’t make it to Paris. He was left here to act as Prime Minister, and sounded more bossy (and brave) in the press than he has in months.

Even the State Minister for Legal Affairs Damian Gomez managed to grab a headline or two in the PM’s absence. It was like the mice attempted to play while the chief Monsieur Ratatouille was away. Interestingly, the “Acting PM” Davis even “popped bottles” when he christened a brand new plane that has recently been bought by Bahamasair. The plane cost us some $20m and is the first of five new ATR-600s we will acquire under a contract we signed with Avions de Transport Regional in Paris in July.

The plane flew here from the Canary Islands. Which are off the coast of northern Africa. And not that far from France. And Paris. Which is where the PM is. And half the Cabinet.

Am I the only one thinking they could have just hitched a ride back on our new plane and saved us a couple bucks?

Meanwhile, back at the farm

One of the Founding Fathers of the United States, Benjamin Franklin, once said: “In this world, nothing could be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

Boy, was he right!

With less than a month before the Christie Administration implements its proposed NHI plan I think we should amend the quote to ‘death from taxes’.

Do you know how much NHI is going to cost this country? Neither does the government. Yet they are moving full steam ahead anyway.

Not to oversimplify, but that in itself may represent the single dumbest mistake that the Bahamian people will have to swallow and then regurgitate in the form of another tax.

Not right away, the government says, and according to its surrogates NHI will cost taxpayers nothing initially. But just like most diseases, we know that the first stage is usually the least harmful. It’s once the malady moves unchecked in your system that the symptoms get progressively worse.

So what can we expect to pay? $200 million? $300 million? No one knows the exact amount.

There’s a figure floating in the ether that pegs our anticipated bill at over $1 billion. That’s a big enough price tag to give even the most spendthrift amongst us heart palpitations.

What treatments will NHI cover? Apparently, no one knows that either. NHI might as well stand for Nobody Has Information.

Looking at it from all sides, we’re in quite the conundrum.

Universal health care for all citizens is an admirable goal. Mr Christie’s newfound desire to ensure every Bahamian receives health insurance coverage regardless of their financial position or whether they have a pre-existing condition is a major “pro”. But the government diving headlong into something as important as NHI without knowing what it will cost represents a major “con” to me.

Instead of trying to sell us a plan without a price tag, Mr Christie and company should buy themselves time to get it right.

After ignoring the Bahamian people’s collective voice on legalising numbers and Value Added Tax, if NHI is implemented next month it will probably be the final nail in the coffin of the PLP’s re-election hopes.

Death by NHI. Oh, the irony!

Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting

All week as I read the headlines surrounding NHI, that famous song by Carl Douglas, ‘Kung-Fu Fighting’, kept repeating in my brain:

‘Sanigest Employee Calls Opponents Money-Grubbing Asses’ (kung-fu fighting ...)

‘Minnis Fires Back that Sanigest Should Be Fired’ (those kicks were fast as lightning ...)

‘Bradley Roberts Calls BIA a Monopolistic Cartel’ (it was a little bit frightening ...)

‘BIA Labels Roberts’ Remarks as Nonsensical’ (they fought with expert timing ...)

‘Leslie Miller Tells BIA Chairman to Haul His A@$ Back to His Country’ (kung fu fighting ...)

‘DPM Davis Asserts NHI is Moving Ahead As Planned’ (it was a little bit fright’ning ...)

‘Minnis Slams Chaotic NHI Implementation’ (kung fu fighting ...)

And on, and on, and on they go. Chinese takeout anyone?

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net