The Tribune

By BIANCA CARTER

The Christmas holidays are here and before you know it, a new year will be here too.

This season, more than ever, retailers have chosen a different angle and way of grabbing the public’s attention. They are doing it by pulling on the heart strings of the audience; showing family togetherness, love, joy and the happiness of family and friends.

Toys ‘R’ Us and Ikea are just two retailers that will have you reaching for the box of tissues. I suppose it’s a bit genius really. With most of the world feeling quite emotional about the state of things recently, it’s understandable why now, more than ever, moments of happiness and family togetherness resonate and appeal to our senses.

It is nice to have those reminders that life is really about the simple things; that happiness is a choice for most people, and living in and appreciating moments of love and joy is where it’s at.

Of course some people don’t find this time of year pleasant. They find it to be stressful and full of pressure and busyness. But honestly, that’s only a matter of perspective. Everyone has times in their life where things aren’t going as planned, but I’ve learned that feeling out-of-sorts, sad and miserable has a lot to do with perspective, and the way we view things around us.

Even “happy” people go through times of sadness, but the happier types of people choose to find joy and peace despite it. Happiness is a choice and it takes practice and a change in perspective.

They say you shouldn’t dwell on the things you don’t want. Thinking and fearing things over and over can be counterproductive to your mission of happiness, and it can prevent you from being able to live in the moment. Sure, we have real lives with real stress, and we also need to think realistically, but when thoughts are over-consumed with the negative and fearful, it can take away the joy of today.

When faced with situations that are overwhelming and difficult, I try to compartmentalise them. I’ve learned not to take everything on at once, and when I don’t have a solution yet, I let it go and come back to it later. This allows me to take control of my thoughts and thus, my state of mind. There are many things that happen in life outside our control, but we always control our perspective. Look for the silver lining with every situation.

Remember when you were a child and a box of chocolate, a pack of chewing gum, an ice cream or watching the planes land on the runway brought you so much joy? Or maybe you don’t remember that, but you watch as your kids light up with the simplest of things. Kids are really good with finding joy. They don’t allow too many things to get in the way of their happiness and they find joy in the simple things. The key is finding joy in the simple things. For me, a good cup of coffee makes me smile.

Find the things that make you happy and write them down on your happy list. I’m not talking about the Gucci bag type of things; I’m talking about things like throwing on soft and fuzzy socks, taking a warm bath and singing in your car at the top of your lungs to your favourite song at the red light without care or concern for who might be watching. We all have little and simple things that give us joy, but for some reason we’ve become really good at not claiming the things that make us happy.

This holiday season, I’m wishing you joy and happiness in the simplest of forms. I’m encouraging you to start writing your happy list. Not your bucket list, or when I have the money and time to get around to it list, but your now list, in this moment list, your happy list! Keep adding to it when you remember the little things that make you happy.

You never have to cross anything off your happy list because it’s your working, all-the-time reminder that life is fully lived in the simple little moments that bring us joy and happiness.

Love & hugs!

• Bianca Carter is a Certified Lactation Counsellor (CLC), Founder of Bun in the Oven and weekend radio personality on Y98 radio. For more information, email her at info@babybunintheoven.com, or bcarter@tribunemedia.net. Follow BITO on Facebook at babybunintheoven, and check out the BITO Blog every Monday and Thursday at http://babybunintheoven.com