The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

When I read the comments regarding flogging and foreign nationals from Mr Wayne Munroe, QC, I could only cringe and pinch myself to ensure this was reality and not a dream – or in this case a nightmare.

In a recent interview with The Tribune, Munroe said vehemently and I quote: “Flogging could be an effective physical and psychological barrier, to persons attempting to enter the Bahamas illegally. If illegal immigrants believed we tortured and killed them, they might not come.”

Seriously, Mr Munroe?

In case you haven’t noticed, the same theory has been applied by the Dominicans toward Haitians trying to enter the Dominican Republic via the border between the two countries and – in a nutshell – it’s been an epic failure, rife with human rights violations, lynchings and rapes.

I’m quite sure the government of the Dominican Republic never expected that when they were encouraging Dominicans to “just tap up these new set of illegals trying to get cross” that it would escalate to their present situation of unrest, instability and loss of life.

We don’t need our international image damaged on this one, especially with so many other blemishes (Baha Mar being the biggest one) on our international image already.

I’m sure the minute he made those regrettable remarks, Mr Munroe’s “Gluteus Maximus” instantly became jealous of his mouth, because it was producing more “manure”.

In all fairness to Mr Munroe (since his legal “genius” precedes him) perhaps he would like to personally test his ‘flogging’ theory correctly before we use it on “illegals”. In fact, he can “test” it on our lousy, underachieving, lip-service-providing-with-no-results politicians.

I could see it now, MPs being hauled to Rawson Square and flogged for failure to deliver on campaign promises, cronyism, conflict of interest, kick backs, etc. It would create new jobs, we’d have to have a team of “Floggers” to carry out the “Floggings.” In fact you may see MPs retire in droves in fear of the “flogging”.

Can you imagine the amount of lashes the honourable representative would have to take for his less than honourable “legacy” in Farm Road?

Or how about the Deputy Prime Minister Mr Philip “Brave” Davis and the BAMSI fiasco? Flogging for days!

Not to be forgotten, AG Alison Maynard-Gibson, Transportation Minister Glenys Hanna Martin, Minister of Foreign Affairs Fred Mitchell. Also we can’t forget Arnold Forbes and Kenred Dorsett, whose constituents would form a “tsunami” of saliva just drooling in anticipation of “flogging” them up!

Oh, and, of course, Mr Munroe for birthing such a “brilliant” idea. He should be the first official “Flog Test Dummy” for this experiment. Maybe that will deter him from making offensively dumb statements in the future.

Politically

incorrect

This week, the Honourable Leslie Miller (MP-Tall Pines) found himself embroiled in another mini-scandal after he labelled the women who work for the Bahamas Crisis Centre as “fakes, phonies and frauds”.

To say Mr Miller’s comments were abrasive and off-base is an understatement, and once the words left his mouth in a heated radio show diatribe I immediately knew that the self-styled “Potcake” had stepped in a huge mound of cow-plop.

To be fair, this animosity that appears to exist between the MP and the Bahamas Crisis Centre is not new. We all remember how Mr Miller was publicly and rightfully chastised by the Centre last year after he made a juvenile “joke” in Parliament about beating a former girlfriend in the past.

After a media storm over his remarks, Mr Miller apologised and offered a $1,000 donation. The Centre declined his money and basically told him to kick rocks.

And so there sat the hurt feelings between the two until this week, when Mr Miller (in his classic ‘Potcake’ way) decided to take another run at making the women, who he probably felt shunned him last year, “look bad”.

Perhaps as a way to “get back” at them, Leslie Miller lashed out at the team at the Crisis Centre by broadcasting to the nation his opinion on them being fakes and phonies. By all accounts, nothing could be further from the truth.

But this whole escapade reminds me of the fact that the Potcake is perhaps the most paradoxical character (emphasis on character) in Bahamian politics.

Bahamians love him for being “real” and “honest”, Bahamians hate him for being “loud” and “disingenuous”.

On the one hand he appears a steadfast team player, on the other hand he lambastes his own party without mercy.

One minute he’s the voice of the people, the next minute the people want him to “shut his trap”.

He gets into these verbal “bust ups” with women, yet he never tires when praising his own daughters who he obviously respects.

Nothing about Leslie Miller is straightforward. But everyone calls him a straight talker. I literally scratch my head when contemplating whether Miller is like Denzel Washington in “Courage Under Fire” or Denzel Washington in “Training Day”.

Speaking of training, I think Mr Miller should accept the invitation extended to him by the Bahamas Crisis Centre to participate in volunteer training next year. Maybe volunteering at the Centre will help educate and sensitise the MP to the arduous task and never-ending work they face there.

It may also help to rid the bad blood that exists between himself and just about every other woman in the Bahamas not related to him after this latest rant.

Barring that, I think 2016 will find Mr Miller in more “mixups” of this nature. And the Potcake may find himself sleeping in the political dog house more often than not.