The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

BEFORE I begin, let me preface this by giving fair warning to Bahamian Dolphins fans - you know this isn’t going to be pretty.

This past weekend, famed former NFL quarterback Dan Marino held camp in Nassau and, based on the turnout, I must commend Dolphins fans who travelled here from all over the country and enthusiastically supported the second annual Dan Marino Football Camp.

I also tip my hat to the Hall of Famer Dan Marino for lending his time, expertise and knowledge while exhibiting his love for the game of football for the second straight year. I’m quite sure this is now going to be marked on the calendar as an annual event.

The organisers deserve kudos as well for allowing a large cross section of Bahamian males (Dolphins fans) to have their ‘Super Bowl moment’ and snap ‘selfies’ with their ‘blue-eyed boy’ Dan Marino. The comedian in me gladly took in all the free material posted on Facebook by overeager adult males who, in some cases, appeared close to crying tears of joy, and in others seemed overwhelmed by the sheer maddening affect of finally meeting their idol. I can tell you now, my next St Andrew’s class reunion will be epic, and thanks to a few timely screenshots I’m looking forward to catching up with those delusional “DolFans” - who also happen to be former classmates - now more than ever.

But let’s get back to the general populace of grown men caught misty-eyed, posing for pictures with ‘Dan the Man’. Some of these men even stood weak-kneed as they watched their children pose with the legend, and I have no doubt these “DolFans” have brainwashed their progeny into believing Marino is the greatest quarterback that ever lived.

Comical - and wrong at the same time.

Dolphins fans are fully aware of how I feel on the entire Marino situation.Though I have great respect for Marino the player, I have no desire to tarnish my Cowboys legacy of greatness with championship mere mediocrity. Also, how many times can one endure the “Perfect Season” stories, and the conjured up theories as to why Marino’s name should be atop the list of greatest QBs?

The answer is zero, in my case. And yet, this past weekend, many of my friends (who happen to be die-hard “DolFans”) invited me to join them in their revelling - for what reason, quite honestly, is beyond me. It seems some of you need to be reminded painfully why I’m no Marino cheerleader when it comes to the all-time greats.

Yes, Marino was a brilliant passer, with the stats to match. Ice water ran through his veins allowing him to orchestrate some of the most monumental comebacks in NFL history. For the better part of a decade, he torched opposing NFL secondaries. Legend has it Marino made more than a few teams’ cornerbacks wet their beds the night before they faced him, then he would make them wet themselves on the field during the game.

Marino was a warrior, a record breaker and a true NFL superstar, but not a champion.

“DolFans” will counter with “rings” aren’t everything, and they are right. In the NFL, championship rings are the only thing.

Ask any NFL analyst worth his salt why Denver quarterback Peyton Manning, who has single-handedly taken down many of Marino’s records, is not a fixture on these ‘Greatest of all time’ lists. The usual response is that Manning (like Marino) lacks the hardware, or championship rings, to get there.

Better still, you doubting “DolFans”, just ask Dan Marino if he wants the NFL records he now possesses or a single NFL championship ring. We all know what the answer is: don’t kid yourselves “DolFans”.

So sadly, despite the records, accolades and support of the majority of The Bahamas, Dan Marino was awesome, but he’s not the greatest of all time, he’s not even top five. That’s right I said it.

My list of top five NFL quarterbacks of all time includes:

1. Joe Montana

2. Terry Bradshaw

3. John Elway

4. Troy Aikman

5. Tom Brady ( purely to incense already irate “DolFans”)

In fact former QB Jim Kelly has to be mentioned ahead of Marino as well, and possibly as the “Best of the Class of ‘8,” the same class Dan belongs to. Admittedly, Kelly also has no NFL championship rings, but excellent stats and four straight Super Bowl appearances gives him the nod over “Danny Boy”.

Now that we’ve cleared the air on that I’m going to sit back and await your irate emails.The Editor and I have the over and under on exasperated “DolFans” calling about this article at 72, which was, ironically the year of the perfect season and last time the Dolphins did anything noteworthy.

It would be remiss if I closed without mentioning that Dan Marino is also quite an accomplished author. I truly enjoyed Dan Marino: My Life in Football and First & Goal. If he ever publishes the long awaited How to Win a Super Bowl by Dan Marino, I’m sure it’ll be the best three-chapter book ever.

A definite must read in the bathroom.

• Naughty presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ on the new KISS FM 96.1 from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday.