The Tribune

• We asked Tribune columnist and life coach Michelle Miller what she what like to say to her younger self. Here is the letter she penned to a teenage Michelle.

Dear 16-year-old me, here’s my advice…

I’m writing to you from an amazing space and time. You will be surprised to know how well we have weathered the storms of life. Times have changed in ways you could not even imagine and there are so many magical possibilities.

Let me start by saying that I truly admire your incredible strength. Being so young and having the resilience to deal with the life-changing family drama that is about to unfold makes you one of the strongest persons I know. 

At this crossroads, you will experience one of life’s greatest lessons, which will forever change your life. You may not see it now, but you have the inner strength to pull through this in ways that are beyond your years.   

Knowing what I know today, my best advice is made up of three simple words – stop, look and listen.

Dating and relationships

When it comes to dating and relationships, I know that the weight and sheer drama of family challenges may lead you to make choices that are not always self-supportive. But here’s my advice - stop and think bigger about your self-worth. Although it may seem like the “norm”, you do not have to be like everybody else. You are unique. It is okay to go your own way.

Look at the flashing neon signs that tell you to run from negative situations and run like hell. More importantly, listen with an open heart to that nagging voice inside your head.  know it may sound crazy now, but its there to help clarify who you really are, what you want for your life and the relationship qualities you need to develop.

Family and friends

Family means everything. Even though family life is an emotional rollercoaster right now, here’s my advice - stop blaming yourself and judging those around you for the situation. It is nobody’s fault; it is just life. You are stronger than you know. Look for ways to build your confidence to navigate this challenge with humility.

Listen to the wisdom instilled in you in those earlier years. Friends may come and go but family is always family. Try not to be overly concerned about not having many friends or fitting in. As the road turns you will meet many kindhearted people and develop meaningful, lasting friendships.

Career and money

In the present scheme of things, the idea of having a career and making enough money seems like an impossible, far-fetched thought, but here’s my advice – be OK with just finding a job for now.  It will help you to support the family and give you a sense of independence and responsibility. At the same time, recognise that you are remarkably gifted. You can do amazing things. Stop listening to the naysayers. 

They have no clue about what you can do. They do not know what is possible for your life. 

Look deeper at what you really want and begin to believe in yourself. Because guess what? They are wrong. That crazy idea of travelling the world, working at a bank and earning the money you need is actually possible. Listen to yourself. 

As difficult as it is, all that you are going through right now will surely pass. Stay focused on your dreams. People will tell you it is impossible but you must not believe them. Be willing to believe that you have something worth believing in.

Finally, the road ahead is long and winding. It holds some enormous obstacles. It also contains some incredible opportunities. While you will fall into many huge potholes along the way, you will find the courage to dig yourself out with fearless determination. You will learn to forge forward with confidence and enthusiasm. 

These enriching qualities will open more doors and provide many extraordinary opportunities. Success is not because of but in spite of. Things will get easier. Remember to stay humble.  Have faith in knowing that life has wonderful treasures in store for you.

In spite of all the craziness of your present moment, I want you to know and begin to believe that whatever you really want for your life also really wants you. 

Trust the guiding light of life and allow it to lead you to the person you are truly born to be. 

I love you – me – more.

– Michelle