The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

WHETHER it’s the feeling of being stuck in a rut or that nauseating sense of anxiety that your life is going nowhere fast, being stuck brings up real emotions and frustrations. 

In simple terms, this habit of the same old, same old, takes a vice grip-like affect on your thinking skills, leading to unhealthy stress and mental fatigue.     

Regrettably, for many, this depressed state of being has become common ground.

And while it is true that at different points in time we may each experience what I call a personal groundhog day where we feel like we’re reliving one day over and repeatedly, it’s not the being here that’s the challenge, it’s the habit of staying here that presents the problem.

Yes, getting stuck is one thing, but staying stuck is something completely different. Let’s be clear – life is to be lived alive and engaged. Still, there are thousands, if not millions of people who have been stuck for so long it’s become their way of life. 

I find it amazing how readily people surrender to the habit of stagnation. With little resistance they voluntarily take up residence in that over populated gated community called ‘Stuck & Stagnated’. It is a disempowering space that becomes a breathing ground for what one of my workshop participant’s calls ‘blaming, complaining, but still remaining’. 

Surprisingly, this unhappy place has become home for a lot of people. But when you live in resignation, you unwittingly nail yourself to the proverbial treadmill of life; moving at rapid speed but experiencing no significant improvement. 

As I said, there are countless ways to ‘get stuck’, but the one main reason why people stay stuck comes down to fear – too afraid to leave their comfort zones, too afraid to face the truth of where they find themselves, and thus they making no effort to move in a new direction. 

Added to this frustration, they lack the skills and tools to break free; creating a prison-like existence. 

Can you imagine a more frustrating position? You see your life changes only after you change, not before.  

However, on the upside, being stuck does offer a few pounds of value. It gives you a chance to reevaluate your life. If you took this opportunity, being stuck may be a blessing in disguise, but you must be willing to work through it step by step.

Beyond all of this, staying stuck stops you from growing. You live drifting through fog with no clarity, no direction and no power. To clear away the fog you must accept where you are and find the courage to get to the root of what’s holding you back. This is where the rubber meets the road because you must take new action.  

Getting unstuck is a process which takes real courage. Now, I’m not talking about that popular just ‘talkin’ bout it’ kind of courage. I’m referring to that real ‘getting your hands dirty and making it happen’ quality of courage. This requires confidence, commitment and an effective strategy.    

The bigger question is – how badly do you want it? Are you hungry for freedom to live the life you love? What are you willing to do to get unstuck? 

Too often people aren’t willing to do anything. As such, they do nothing new, and experience nothing new.   

Living empowered and engaged begins with clarity. You must know who you are and what you bring to table; have that long overdue conversation with yourself. Be brutally honest about your stuff. Find a sense of purpose. I find that purpose is great motivation to move out of that stuck state. Life is fluid; everything changes.

While you may feel stuck, life all around you is changing. Your life belongs to you. In the end, it is your call. You can be lived by it or you can choose to live it fearlessly.     

Leader to leader, you cannot fix what you are unwilling to face. If you are stuck, face it and make the commitment to take action. Seek some professional help to coach you through it and create an action plan to move forward.    

Make today the day that you begin to live the larger life that you love. Believe and know that better lies ahead. 

• What do you think?  Send comments and questions to coaching242@yahoo.com; visit www.michellemmiller.com or send snail mail to PO Box CB-13060.

Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach.