The Tribune

The opening lyrics of one of my favourite’s songs by Sarah McLachlan go like this:

“Spend all your time waiting –

for that second chance

for a break that would make it okay,

there’s always some reason

to feel not good enough

and it’s hard at the end of the day.”

I believe these lyrics are very sobering; offering deep insight into the real reason why many of us spend so much time waiting.

The feeling of not being good enough is what stops so many individuals from going after their goals. This exhausting feeling is also what cause people to remain married to mediocrity.

Not feeling good enough is like being quicksand, the more you try to wiggle out, the deeper you sink. Before you know it, you are living your life in stuck mode.

But how good is good enough? How much more time are you going to allow to slip into the future? Aren’t you tired of waiting?

The truth is, every moment you spend waiting is a moment that you lose forever. It is up to you to believe that you are enough – without the approval of others.

Look at Mario Cooper, who seemed to have spent his whole life waiting. Waiting on his father to accept that he was good enough; waiting on his mother to approve his career choice. Waiting for his boss to recognise his value, and finally, waiting on his wife to respect and appreciate his efforts.

Indeed, at 45 years old, Mario’s life was in a state of waiting. Even with all his waiting, nothing was getting any better. He soon became resentful, discouraged and disconnected.

One day, however, Mario caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. Of all the years he’d lived in his house and the hundreds of times he’d used this mirror, he felt like he was seeing himself for the first time.

It soon became clear to him that he was not looking at his reflection, as much as his reflection was looking at him.

Those intense eyes seem to pierce into his soul. He felt like a deer in headlights. He wondered, who was that man staring at him with such dismay and how did a once eager young man reach such a low point in his life? These haunting thoughts hovered like a halo.

In this trance like state, Mario Cooper was really looking at himself for the very first time. All of those wasted years spent waiting flashed before his eyes. His entire life was bundled into this single moment. He had no idea who he was, what he really wanted, or why he was waiting to be good enough.

All that he had ever done was to please those around him, to gain their approval. Yet, here he stood facing himself, without his own approval.

Mario now realised that he never approved of himself because deep down inside he too never thought he was good enough. It was this deeper truth that really kept him waiting.

When it came right down to it, Mario did not believe in his own self-worth. He did not have the confidence or the courage to accept and approved himself. And although he was familiar with those eyes staring at him, they seemed oh so unfamiliar. They spoke without words asking, “Mario, aren’t you tired of waiting?”

Frantically he splashed cold water over his face to regain his composure. He was now looking at himself with a new set of eyes.

In that solitary moment Mario Cooper made up his mind to see himself in a new light. To accept that he was good enough and to commit to himself that he would stop waiting and start stepping towards the life that he truly desired.

Leader to leader, there is a little bit of Mario in each of us, where the feeling of not being good enough holds us hostage from our happiness. However, just like Mario you must each face the mirror of your fears. Be willing to give yourself a chance to change. Accept and approved yourself; affirming that you are good enough. Make today the day that you stop waiting. Start stepping towards the life the you love.

What do you think? Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach and leadership expert. Visit www.michellemmiller.com or send snail mail to PO Box CB-13060.