The Tribune

HAVE you ever noticed how the people who make the most noise about change are the least effective in changing themselves and or their circumstances?

They are often stuck in an old paradigm of thinking that suggests that they will change only when their outer circumstances change. It’s akin to the man who said to the furnace, “give me heat, then I’ll put in the wood”. We all know that you must put in the wood first if you want the furnace to provide the heat. Fail to do so and you will freeze.

It is at this popular intersection that many think that change happens to them, as opposed to through them, which causes them to become frozen. These people have not accepted the fact they are the change they are looking for.

Change starts with you, but you must first be willing to change your mind if you are to successfully change your life. But how do you change yourself?

I believe real change must be intentional. This quality of change is based on a deeper understanding of who you are and the specific change you desire.

The desire for money and or financial improvement (change) often produces major frustration; particularly in marital unions. Here, you have two individuals, usually with little experience of self-change, seeking to merge their financial territories. In effect neither is mentally equipped to navigate the burdensome financial responsibilities inherent in marital unions. In time, financial frustration overwhelms the couple and their union begins to crumble.

The point is, there is enormous value in embracing self-change; learning how to change your habits and behaviours. It all begins by changing your mind.

As self-help author and motivational speaker Dr Wayne Dyer noted, “When you change the way you look at a thing, the thing you look at begins to change.”

I’ve proven this truth in so many aspects of my life, particularly with my relationship with money.

The first thing that hit me like a tonne of bricks was the need to change the way I look at myself. Only when my self-perception became more authentic and more congruent with my inner truth did I muster the courage and confidence to change the way I looked at money. Thus, my relationship with money began to positively change. As opposed to being subservient to money, I learned to build a more assertive and supportive relationship with money.

In other words, you can direct the way money is flows through your life. The bottom line is your willingness to look at your self-perception; it is the impetus to you changing your life.

Change is always an inside job. Without an internal shift nothing externally can change. Life is a dynamic experience. Everything is always changing. Your life is no exception. You either change intentionally are you become a victim to the chaos of the changes happening all around you.

To live a life that’s full, you must be open to the ongoing of process of change. See change as something that can happen through you as opposed to just to you. n truth, change is really your friend. Leader to leader, to live a bigger life you must be willing to change yourself. Don’t spend your whole life waiting for someone else to change your life. You must do it – you can do it.

Make today the day that you find the courage to change yourself. It opens the door to an empowered life.

What do you think? Send comments questions to coaching242@yahoo.com

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach and communication expert. Visit www.michellemmiller.com, call 429-6770 or send snail mail to PO Box CB-13060