The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

ONE of the greatest struggles many face in their quest to live an empowered life is the habit of avoiding responsibility. Whether it’s responsibility for themselves, or for those to whom they are responsible, they are unwilling to shake this habit.

Sadly, while this common habit of ducking responsibility may seem like you’re getting away with something, in the long run you only short-change yourself.

To continue down this path amounts to what the old folks call giving yourself a long rope for a short catch. In time, it catches up with you and lessens your ability to manage yourself in this big game of life.

By failing to accept responsibility, you also fail to build your ability to respond to ongoing challenges. You find yourself without the power to meet challenges, not because you don’t have the power, but because you don’t know that you have the power. And not knowing you have the power is just as bad as not having the power.

The essence of the word empowerment is to be powered from within. Only those who have accepted responsibility for their whole life can truly be powered from within.

As such, any talk about ownership is only talk if there is no talk about responsibility. Real owners are those who accept full responsibility – body, mind and spirit. This means they are fully responsible, rather than just hitching their wagon to any group thinking they take responsibility to “free their minds from mental slavery”.

In so doing, they have a better chance to really live their lives “according to me”, as it were. Indeed, there is no greater freedom than the freedom to live life according to your own drum beat. When you avoid taking responsibility you live vulnerable and uncertain like a puppet on a string.

I’ve always had a great relationship with the word responsibility. It was literally the first “big” word my mother taught me. This early lesson about taking responsibility is what helped me through those many enormous challenges that came hard and fast in my young life.

I began to realise that in order to give myself a fair shot at living my life according to me I had to take myself out of the blame game.

So instead of constantly complaining about the circumstances of my life, I accepted responsibility and found ways of dealing with the situation.

Because when I really looked at it, it didn’t matter what happened, how it happened or why it happened. What really mattered was whether or not I was willing to make something better happen. To do so, I had to take responsibility for my whole life. I realised that no matter what, nobody – and I mean nobody – ought to be more responsible for my life than me.

I am the captain of my ship.

Over the years, as I watch myself grow I believe that my willingness to step up to accept responsibility early in life ignited this amazing adventure known as my life and I am forever grateful. What about you? Aren’t you tired of the blame game? Then it’s time to get into the game of owning your life by accepting responsibility. First, be willing to let go of what’s gone. Too many live as prisoners of a paradigm that is past. This is what I call living in life in reverse. Life is about driving forward not looking backwards. Get over it.

What has happened has already happened. Freeing this blocked up space in your mind brings clarity and confidence to keep it moving. Taking responsibility gives you the audacity to meet life fearlessly.

This is your one life, why not seek to live it according to you. By getting out of the blame game you stop hobbling through life. Instead, you begin to hopscotch with confidence.

Leader to leader, remember freedom comes with responsibility. Only the responsible are truly free. Make today the day that you accept personal responsibility for your freedom. In so doing, you give yourself the best shot at living an empowered life.

What do you think? Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life-coach, leadership expert and creator of “Speak Fearlessly”.

You can also send mail to P O Box CB-13060 or visit www.michellemmiller.com