The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

LET’S be honest, when it comes to the leadership of the Progressive Liberal Party (PLP), it is obvious that Prime Minister Christie intends to hang on to his current post as long as is humanly possible.

And if avatars become a “thing” before he leaves office, I’m guessing those PLP Stalwart Counsellors would rather see Mr Christie’s brain implanted in a new, big, blue body before even considering anyone else.

The real question is, what are the other PLP leaders-in-waiting doing about it?

The old and

the restless

This past week, the airwaves and social media were (once again) saturated with so-called “youngsters” griping about whose time it is to lead the country.

Going into the 2012 election, the PLP had a great plan to appease all the up-and-coming wannabe politicians and voters the party hoped to woo. They talked about this supposed “bridge to the future” that had been built to pump fresh blood and new ideas into the party.

It was a clever plan, quite Machiavellian even.

Because of their token recruits, the PLP got to parade a few new, young faces around town and say, “Hey! Look at us! We’re different! We’re the future! Check it out! We’ve even built a bridge to get there!”

Well, the last time I checked, that bridge got doused with gasoline by MP Renward Wells and House Speaker Dr Kendal Major right before (former PLP) MPs Dr Andre Rollins and Greg Moss showed up with flamethrowers.

Two resignations, one fence straddler and a seemingly uneasy House Speaker are all that remain of that so-called bridge.

In fact, if that “bridge to the future” were a car, the doors would be missing, the windshield broken, the steering wheel stolen and the gear-box cracked. And it would be up on blocks. And the pistons would be in the road.

Waiting for the “new” PLP to give any politician not named Christie a legitimate chance to become Prime Minister is like waiting for pigs to fly, and as delicious as pork chops and bacon flying everywhere sounds, the truth is it’s not going to happen.

So dubious are their chances, the likes of Philip “Brave” Davis, Obie Wilchcombe and even Fred Mitchell have gone from shiny, young politicians with much potential to greying, balding, older politicians down to their “last chance”.

They are all waiting for Mr Christie to call their name as his chosen heir. I wonder if the honourable ministers have figured out that Mr Christie is never going to hand over the reins?

Former PLP chairman Raynard Rigby has figured it out: he was even brave enough to announce his intentions to challenge Mr Christie come November.

Yes, we all know the so-called PLP Stalwart Counsellors will elect Mr Rigby when frogs grow hair, but at least he manned up and staked his claim.

What are the others who want to be Prime Minister waiting for? If you can’t stand up for yourself, how can you stand up for the country?

NFL Hall of Famer and Dallas Cowboys great Michael Irvin once said, “If you don’t want it bad enough, I don’t want you to have it.” That’s exactly how I feel about all these Prime Minister postulants.

Young or old, newbie or veteran, whoever in the PLP wants to lead should stand up and say it because November is almost here. Please, give us another choice.

Your alternative is to “sit small ‘til ya name call.” Which will most likely be the twelfth of never.

Don’t stop the party-ing

I must admit I enjoyed listening to Marco City MP Greg Moss on ‘Hard Copy’ the other day with my good friend, Steve McKinney.

As I waded through traffic at a snail’s pace, surrounded by all the genius drivers that await on the roads of Nassau, I was pleasantly surprised with Mr Moss’ position on some issues of national importance.

He was candid when needed, frank and to the point when the tough question required a veracious answer. Great qualities in a potential young future leader of this country.

In all honesty, it’s a breath of fresh air to my peer group. Moss sounds as if his heart and head are in the right place, his message is also palatable because it’s very relatable to so many, young and old ‘because he actually talkin’ sense’.

Greg Moss is eloquent, and let’s be honest, to the average Bahamian voter, once you talk a good game ‘erryting cool’. His somewhat blurry message on immigration will cost him many votes but he has time to clarify his stance.

Interestingly, Mr Moss alluded to forming a new party, and if he does he could be a thorn in the sides of the various political parties, as the voting populace is not afraid to ‘swing’ their votes.

After Moss made his announcement, a few things dawned on me.

Say Mr Moss forms a new party, that new party would already have the Marco City seat.

Misery loves company and suddenly so Fort Charlotte MP Dr Andre Rollins would likely join Moss’ “new party” and suddenly this hypothetical party whose name we shall not say could potentially have two voices (and seats) in Parliament.

Folks, that’s already two more than the fledgling “third party” Democratic National Alliance and only five less than the Free National Movement.

What if some other disgruntled PLP’s decided to “man up” and join, say maybe Bamboo Town MP Renward Wells? (Though if he takes as long to announce his departure from the PLP as he did to resign from the Ministry of Works then “das a loss”. Elections will have come and gone and we will still be waiting on “Renny”).

Anyway, I think Mr Moss is on to something, and I hope he succeeds in his efforts to form a viable fourth party.

Why? Well, it’s purely selfish. I would love to see a coalition government here - four parties, one House of Assembly. Can somebody say “loon jokes” and comedy material for days?

The verbal jousting and petty politics would make great reality TV and those MPs famous for “diving conch” in the House would get “scorched” verbally. Can you imagine Christie, Minnis, McCartney and Moss debating issues and going at it like a WWE “Fatal Four-way Main Event” in the hallowed House?

I’m going for my popcorn now. It will be worth watching and, more importantly, maybe something will finally get done.

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ on KISS FM 96.1 from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net