The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

IN a time of insurmountable challenges and extraordinary change people everywhere are facing a host of problems. Whether these problems are financial, mental, social, spiritual, family, health, governmental or emotional, it is not the problem but how you respond to the problem that matters most.

The greatest setback most have is this habit of endlessly talking and complaining about the problem. This inclination, despite its popularity, is a grave mistake. Complaining and lamenting about the problem doesn’t solve the problem. In truth, it only magnifies it.

One of the great lessons I learned from my favourite spiritual teacher, Dr Wayne Dyer, is that there are laws of life that we are all subjected to, and they work whether we agree with them or not. One such law is the “law of attraction”, which simply says, that which you focus on expands. Or another way of putting it, you get what you give your attention to, whether you want it or not.

For this reason, the habit of talking and channelling your energy only to the problem serves then to expand/increase the problem.

It’s for this reason that those who complain about the problem of being broke for example are usually broke. They live the results of what they focus on.

It is baffling the number of people who spend so much valuable emotional capital talking about the things that they don’t want and then have audacity to complain that they are not getting what they do want.

Here’s a crucial clue – you cannot get what you want if you are emotionally invested in what you don’t want. The law of attraction is not a joke. With your attention, you are laying the bricks that build your life.

My number one life rule is simple: give your attention to what you want, and only what you want. This is my norm. When I identify a so-called problem I don’t spend the bulk of my time talking about it, announcing it on the media outlets or wearing it on my sleeve like some badge of honour. Instead I get into problem-solving mode and begin to use my mental, emotional and even financial capital to remedy the situation.

What about you? Are you spending all your time talking about problems, be they personal or collective issues?

This habit has become such a national pastime that many consider it a norm. A sobering question you may wish to consider is, what are the benefits of this national problem talking scenario? How has is it been serving you on a personal, professional or social level?

A bigger question is, after more than 25 years of a problem talking, which social problem has it actually solved? The result is at best dismal.

Words have power. Nothing influences the human psyche more than words; motivating you to build up or tear down. The good book says it best, “Life and death is in the power of the tongue - those who love to talk will eat what it produces.”

To make the shift you must embrace a new way of thinking. Problem solving is a skill. It takes thinking critically about an issue with a view of solving the problem. This means you must begin with the intent to actually solve the problem.

This goes beyond the tendency to jump on the bandwagon of some topical issue to just put in your so-called five cents. In the end, all these “five cents” combined are still essentially unproductive.

This doesn’t mean that healthy discussions in general have no value. It means that wherever you identify a problem, you must also look for a solution. Fact is, despite excessive talk, scores of people remain socially and emotionally depressed and disempowered.

Perpetual problem talking is a negative cocktail that depletes your mental and emotional capital.

Try this quote on for size – “Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.”

When your dominant discourse is to talk negatively and persistently about other people your life results are reflective. You eventually live what you communicate.

Consider the story of David, a mere shepherd boy who had to face the giant of a problem known as Goliath. David did not get caught up in the morass of problem talking, he did not complain about Goliath’s size or strength. Instead he chose to look to his power within and mustered the colossal capacity to meet the challenge before him. Undiluted faith and self-belief enabled David to defeat the giant problem called Goliath.

Leader to leader, you are no different from David. Whatever problem you face, you too have the inner-power to solve it if you are willing to focus on problem solving rather than problem talking.

Make today the day that you make the shift towards living an empowered, problem-solving style of life.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified Life-Coach and Leadership Expert. Questions or comments can be sent to email – coaching242@yahoo.com or telephone 429-6770 or visit www.michellemmiller.com or snail mail to PO Box CB-13060