The Tribune

People get so caught up in blaming and complaining that they start to really believe that there is some ‘enemy’ out there that is causing them to be stuck in the situations in which they find themselves. The bitter truth that must be carefully digested is that there is really no enemy that has more power or is more destructive than your inner you.

We are often our own worst enemy; sabotaging our efforts with incessant negative thinking. For this reason, people become weighed down by their circumstances as opposed to mastering and overcoming them. As a result, they experience major self-implosion. The inner me has become so conditioned to self-doubt, that even when presented with opportunities to step it up and move towards an improved outcome, they opt to remain in the oh so familiar place of pain.

To make it worse, taking one step forward eventually leads to taking ten steps back as the inner me takes its toll on their mind and emotions. They become discouraged and dejected.

Although this can be very distressing, understand that the purpose of life’s challenges is not to depress you, but to impress upon you to step up your game. You cannot get to a new place holding on to old ideals that hold no real value. You must be willing to reassess your thinking and your attitude towards life.

Everybody hurts sometimes. We all walk down the familiar streets of pain, loss, disappointment and rejection. Many know all too well that awful feeling of being a victim. It’s a story people hold near and dear. But you are supposed to walk down those streets of pain, not make them your home. You must move through the pain or you will find yourself parking your life on Pain Street, not Main Street.

Do not allow your inner you to convince you that your problems are bigger than you, because while you may be your biggest problem, you are also your greatest solution.

Feed your mind positive self-talk that supports your capacity to get into the driver’s seat. You are responsible for the words you feed your mind. A meal of negative ingredients produces negative results.

Understand that life stands in support of your best intentions, whether you believe that or not. It has a unique way of impelling you towards something better. Yes, it involves some struggle, but this is the way you build your strength. The question is, are you willing to do what it takes to shift your thinking?

Unless you are willing to shift, you will remain in the state of staying the same, replaying that same old soundtrack of pain.

Change takes courage, commitment and confidence. Begin by accepting that you have the most power to empower your life. Nobody has more power to affect your life than you.

Many give in to believing that the world is against them, yet they are usually most against themselves.

You have full authority over your life and over the challenges you face. It all depends on your state of mind. At your darkest hour of despair, know that life is there with you; inviting you to think a bigger thought about what is possible now, in this moment.

Be honest with yourself in facing the pain of your past – not as a means of remaining a prisoner of your past, but as a means of setting yourself free from the past.

Recognise that every so-called “mess” offers a life-changing message. If you miss the message then the mess becomes a habitual lesson. Supporting yourself means seeking to make peace from the tattered pieces. More than this, it means feeding your mind positive talk.

You are either your best friend or your own worst enemy. No matter the size of the challenges you face, it is no match for the size of your inner power.

Leader to leader, you were not born to hobble through life. You were born for great expectations. Make today the day that you face your inner you and learn to become your own best friend. You put yourself on the path to living an empowered life. What do you think?

Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach, communication and leadership expert. Call 429-6770 or visit www.michellemmiller.com; mail can be sent to PO Box CB-13060.