The Tribune

By BIANCA CARTER

It’s funny how most men think women can be difficult creatures. Sure, we’re emotional, sensitive, pondering human beings, but we’re not that complicated.

Women have so many roles to play in life. We take on new roles and challenges every day, but no matter what is going on in our lives, there are three big and important things every woman wants to know. These are not in any particular order of importance, and honestly depending on the day and what’s going on around us, the importance of each of these can change making one more valuable than the other.

• Women want to know that they’re supported.

Not in that superficial and basic way like, “Sure honey, whatever you want”, but rather in the way that makes women think that their thoughts, ideas and opinions are valuable. Further, that their stance on things, situations with the kids, the family or even career-wise are supported by the people that they love. You know those people we have in our lives that will give us the opportunity to share our thoughts and feelings openly and honestly without any judgment, manipulation or bias? You may not have many people like that in your life, but if you have at least one, you’re golden! Support makes women feel safe and free to be themselves.

• Women want to know that they’re respected.

Our work in this world is important, not only to us personally, but to the world. Women have made many significant contributions to our society and we should be able to reap the rewards of such work just as much as any other human being. Our ideas should be thought of as equally important contributions to issues or situations. We appreciate having a “place at the table”, not at the side or the middle, but also at the head of the table. I’m a believer that when you show respect, you should also be offered respect, and gender should never be a factor in that decision. Respect is not agreeing with someone, respect is listening with intent and allowing free thoughts, opinions and ideas to be spoken, accepted and valued with importance. Respect is honouring a person for their expertise, their experience, and embracing the uniqueness of who they are.

• Women want to know that they’re loved.

Love is simple and complex; love is the answer and the reason for everything in life. This will be the most important one of the three, most of the time quite simply because if you love someone, you will respect them and support them. Sure, you don’t have to love someone to offer respect and support, and obviously respecting and supporting someone doesn’t mean that you love them. Women are maternal creatures for the most part, and having this maternal instinct in us, even if we choose not to have kids, gives us a unique ability to want to give love and receive it.

Three of the most important things every woman wants to know are really quite simple. It’s not rocket science, but boy does it ever make a difference in our lives. And for the record, I do know that men want most of these things too. Maybe in different ways, but they want their definition of all of the above as well. Let’s support, respect and love each other more. Don’t you think all we deserve it?

Love and hugs!

• Bianca Carter is a certified lactation counsellor and founder of Bun in the Oven. For more information, email her at info@babybunintheoven.com. Follow BITO on Facebook at babybunintheoven, and check out the BITO Blog every Monday and Thursday at http://babybunintheoven.com.