The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

My high school English teacher at St Andrew’s Gordon Mills (awesome teacher and even better person) had a sign on his desk “Garbage in, garbage out.”

It’s a perfect analogy for our present political landscape, and yes it would be quite easy to have a laugh at the usual political shenanigans that play out daily in front of our eyes, but this week’s column sadly has taken a different turn, due to unforeseen events.

Yesterday April 21, 2016, was a day that will go down in history, a snapshot of the celebrations of life and the agony of death.

Warrior lost

The first blow of the day was news that former professional wrestler and actor Joan Laurer, better known as ‘Chyna,’ had died at the age of 46, her manager confirmed to ABC News.

According to him, ‘Chyna’ was found dead in her bed at her Redondo Beach home in California on Wednesday.

Investigators said the Los Angeles County Coroner’s Department would determine the exact cause of death, but stated there were no indications of foul play. Redondo Beach police said a friend went to check on ‘Chyna’ at her Esplanade apartment after she hadn’t answered her phone in days.

‘Chyna’ rocketed to fame as a wrestler in the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) from 1997 to 2001, becoming a trailblazer in the sport as a member of ‘Degeneration X’ and the only woman to ever capture the prestigious World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Intercontinental title.

Despite her meteoric success, ‘Chyna’ battled many demons, including alcoholism and drug addiction, which eventually lead to her departure from the WWE and landed her on such reality shows as ‘The Surreal Life’ and ‘Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew’.

‘Chyna’ also posed in ‘Playboy’ magazine and had a New York Times’ best-selling autobiography titled “If They Only Knew”. Her manager said she was on prescription medication for sleep deprivation and severe anxiety but said he was not sure if that played a role in her death.

May she rest in peace.

Long live the Queen

April 21, 2016, was also a day that saw Queen Elizabeth celebrating her 90th birthday and 63rd year on the throne.

It’s amazing to see how England, and the world for that matter, has changed during her reign. One thing hasn’t though: her textbook, picture perfect wave.

It hasn’t changed in all these years. It is still as regal and elegant today as it was a few years back when, as a young boy, I got my own personal wave from Her Majesty.

I must have been nine or ten at the time Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip were visiting the Bahamas on the Royal Yacht ‘Britannia.’ Somehow my aunt, Kay Thompson, got news that the Queen would be attending a function out west and the motorcade would pass our house. My aunt suggested I carefully stand in the front yard and watch the Queen’s motorcade pass by, and to make sure wave to Her Majesty.

I earned my nickname ‘Naughty’ early on, so it was obvious as soon as the coast was clear, I would hop the wall and be roadside for a perfect, up close view of the Queen.

It must have been written in the stars because that’s exactly what I got.

As the Royal Bahamas Police Force outriders proceeded toward me I could see Her Majesty’s Rolls Royce approaching. To my amazement the outriders sped by me and then slowly came to a halt, thus causing the royal motorcade to slow and eventually stop.

A vehicle had broken down ahead of the royal procession forcing the police outriders to assist in giving the downed automobile assistance in moving out of the road.

As my eyes peered back toward the royal motorcade there was Her Majesty looking out of the window of her ‘Rolls’ directly at me. She smiled and waved. I was mesmerised; all I could do was wave and shout ‘long live the Queen’.

I’m glad to say Her Majesty is living up to that saying, so may she enjoy this and many more birthdays while continuing to enjoy her reign.

“Long live the Queen.”

Death of a Prince

When I got the CNN update I cringed. Then my heart sank, and I felt as if I were seasick - only on dry land.

Music icon “Prince” was dead.

Prince Nelson Rodgers, internationally known to his millions of fans worldwide as ‘Prince’, was gone.

Don McLean’s classic ‘The Day the Music Died’ paid tribute to the late Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the ‘Big Bopper’ who perished in a tragic plane crash. The ‘music’ died for McLean that day, the ‘music’ died for me on April 21, 2016, with the passing of ‘Prince’.

Taking nothing away from Tupac, Notorious BIG, Michael Jackson or Whitney. They all hold a place in my heart musically, but none quite like ‘Prince’. Especially in Waterloo or Rock n Roll Cafe back in the day. Perfect mood music to seal the deal.

So when I read: (CNN) - “Prince, who defined the sound of the ‘80s with songs like “Kiss” and “Purple Rain” and defied the music industry in a fight for creative freedom, died Thursday.

The 57-year-old singer was found unresponsive in an elevator at Paisley Park Studios in Chanhassen, Minnesota, Carver County Sheriff Jim Olson said,” I knew it was official, and I was crushed.

Gone was a musical genius who’s work was flawless and everlasting. ‘Prince’ was a singer, songwriter, multi instrumentalist, record producer, actor and film director. ‘Prince’ also introduced new talent to the world: he gave us The Revolution, Morris Day and the Time, Jerome, Vanity 6, Apalonia, Sheila E, Wendy and Lisa, The New Power Generation and The Family just to name a few.

Personally I’m particularly thankful for ‘Prince’ discovering Vanity, Apollonia and Sheila E. I could care less if they could sing or not. They ‘looked’ the part perfectly.

Nonetheless he will live on in the music, both his past works and his yet to be released new projects and material, which I hope is released for fans worldwide. We the fans need to have as many memories, old and new as we can get, to hold on to.

I’m queuing up ‘Purple Rain’ and just waiting for my popcorn to finish. I need a moment, I’m still reeling from Kobe’s retirement, not completely over that and now this!

I can only imagine what a rocking concert is going down soon in Heaven. David Bowie and Prince performing (not live) in the Main Hall with ‘Chyna’ serving as security. I know somewhere Madonna is chain smoking her cigarettes, pacing up and down in a random studio; she’s the last one left.

“I never meant to cause you any sorrow

I never meant to cause you any pain

I only wanted to one time to see you laughing

I only wanted to see you

Laughing in the purple rain.” - Prince

Until next week, hug the ones you love often, life is short and tomorrow is promised to no one.

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net