The Tribune

Week 14

By SANCHESKA and

RENALDO DORSETT

Tribune Staff Reporters

rdorsett@tribunemedia.net

Oakland Raiders at

Kansas City Chiefs

Renaldo: Thank NFL flex scheduling gods, there’s meaningful football on a Thursday night. Derek Carr took his offensive line to the Warriors/Pacers game and they got to witness Klay going off for 60 points. The entire Bay Area is on fire right now. The Chiefs are not the team to put an end to that. Although…their uniforms do sort of make them look like some extreme roided up version of firefighters (Not that NFL players use those). Do those exist? Before we get too caught up on praising the flex scheduling gods, let’s not forget that they gave us Niners/Bears last week and Jags/Vikings this week.

RAIDERS over Chiefs

SANNIE: Boy, the Raiders really been on a roll and since I am trying to be nice to Eddie, I will choose them. You better give me a win!!

RAIDERS over Chiefs

 Washington Racial Slurs

at Philadelphia Eagles

Renaldo: One of Mike Florio’s headlines on Pro Football Talk was “Jay Gruden not happy after latest loss.” I need follow-ups on this story Florio. What’s the headline if they drop another game? It has to contain expletives right? If not that, at the very least something fairly obvious: “Washington football team clings to racially insensitive mascot” or “Team with the fewest points loses.” Washington should feel some way about it if Gruden wasn’t upset after a loss.

RACIAL SLURS

over Eagles

SANNIE: Eagles because…well who likes racial slurs (other than racists).

EAGLES over Racial Slurs

Cincinnati Bengals at

Cleveland Browns

Renaldo: RG3 is back! Maybe? Probably? Does anyone know? Does anyone really care? It at least makes the worst battle of Ohio in history slightly more intriguing than watching paint dry. There are so many other battles in Ohio to worry about - LeBron’s barber vs. his hairline, JR Smith vs. Saturday nights/Sunday afternoon games, the Cleveland “get a new logo for god’s sakes” baseball team vs. the World Series loss hangover.

BROWNS over Bengals

SANNIE: Soooo the Browns really aren’t going to try and win at least ONE game. This is just sad.

BENGALS over Browns

Houston Texans at

Indianapolis Colts

Renaldo: Andrew Luck smells blood in the water. Which could be problematic for the Texans, because based on his cartoon monster themed voice, we’re not exactly certain that Andrew Luck doesn’t have the ability to morph into a shark at a moment’s notice. Seemingly out of nowhere, the Colts are now in the driver’s seat of the AFC South...at 6-6. This season just needs to be done.

COLTS over Texans

SANNIE: My girl Beyonce got seven Grammy nominations, we’re celebrating in Texas baby!!

TEXANS over Colts

Denver Broncos at

Tennessee Titans

Renaldo: The Broncos recently hosted a workout for 12 players Tuesday which included two quarterbacks and three recicvers. It’s week 14. This is a bit like the equivalent to cramming for an exam the night before, but from the notes of a guy failing the class with an average worst than yours. No one wants his notes, there’s a reason these guys are free agents at this point.

TITANS over Broncos

SANNIE: Broncos won the Super Bowl, that should get me to believe in them for at least a year.

BRONCOS over Titans.

Arizona Cardinals at

Miami Dolphins

Renaldo: It was fun while it lasted. For six weeks you made me care again Miami. After a 1-4 start it was the best I could have hoped for.

If the run had to come to an end, of course it was going to come during Art Basel weekend. Miami was a little preoccupied. I’m not looking forward to watching this defence chase David Johnson around all afternoon.

CARDINALS over

Dolphins

SANNIE: Well, that streak for the Dolphins has ended but I still gat faith, even if just for Renaldo’s sake.

DOLPHINS over Cardinals

Chicago Bears at

Detroit Lions

Renaldo: I’m so proud of Starscream. Watching him finally become the leader of the Decepticons is a rewarding experience that I’ve been waiting on since I was 6-years-old. Who needs Megatron anyway?

LIONS over Bears

SANNIE: A bear vs a lion, I think the Lions have this one.

LIONS over Bears

Pittsburgh Steelers at

Buffalo Bills

Renaldo: The Bills have the best point differential of any team non-playoff team. How are they not good? It makes no sense. Tyrod Taylor has $30 million guaranteed on the way in March...unless the Bills cut him beforehand. That’s motivation if I’ve ever heard it. 

BILLS over Steelers

SANNIE: I will go with the Steelers because I like their logo better.

STEELERS over Bills

San Diego Chargers at

Carolina Panthers

Renaldo: Whatever the dress code violation was that kept Cam Newton on the sideline for the Panthers last week, Cam needs to take that to the extreme. If not wearing a tie coats you a series Cam needs to find a way to take the remainder of the season off...because it’s done. Just come to the facility dressed as a tie mascot or something.

PANTHERS over

Chargers

SANNIE: Jesus, If Cam can’t pull this one off, I am going to have to reevaluate some things.

PANTHERS over

Chargers

Minnesota Vikings at

Jacksonville Jaguars

Renaldo: Mike Zimmer is coaching practice with a patch over his eye. I don’t care about anything else.

VIKINGS over Jags

SANNIE: Well, seeing that the Jags only won two games, this was an easy choice.

VIKINGS over Jags

New York Jets at

San Francisco 49ers

Renaldo: What’s the over/under on how many passes get completed this week? I’m capping it at 20. That number decreases by five if the Jets end up going with Christian Hackenburg. That may be the highlight of the Penn State season if he gets in the game. That College Football Playoff didn’t work out too well.

NINERS over Jets

SANNIE: Well the Jets suck so 49ers it is.

NINERS over JETS

Atlanta Falcons at

Los Angeles Rams

Renaldo: Everything about this game is “ew.” The Falcons are on their traditional slide and the Rams have lost their last three games by almost 50 points. There are rumours the Falcons might rest Julio Jones so there’s really no reason to watch this game.

FALCONS over Rams

SANNIE: Atlanta! Because every great reality show, eminates from there

FALCONS over Rams

New Orleans Saints at

Tampa Bay Bucs

Renaldo: Steal crab legs, steal the top draft slot...steal the division.

BUCS over Saints

SANNIE: I must be feeling really good, I’m going to choose the Bucs because its my brother’s favourite team. Just this once, also because I need a win.

BUCS over Saints

Seattle Seahawks at

Green Bay Packers

Renaldo: The losses are mounting for the Seahawks. The Earl Thomas one is huge. Aaron Rodgers is going directly to that side of the field nearly every play. 

PACKERS over

Seahawks

SANNIE: Lets Go Wilson!!! Make Ciara proud.

SEAHAWKS and Packers

Dallas Cowboys at

New York Giants

Renaldo: Losing Jason Pierre-Paul was a devastating blow to Giants pass rush, defence, morale...everything. There’s no reason  to think the Giants can win this game, other than the fact that Odell Beckham knows this will be the most watched game for his team all season. There’s nothing more he likes than attention. To get that positive feedback, so much relies on the most erratic Jekyll or Hyde quarterback of all time, Eli. Manning has played the Cowboys 24 times, owning a 12-12 all-time record against Dallas. He won his first three starts at AT&T Stadium, but is 1-4 in his last seven appearances. I have no idea what we get this week but a good Odell is better for my entertainment.

GIANTS over Cowboys

SANNIE: Damn, the Cowboys have been doing well, must be that Beyonce effect. Good for them.

COWBOYS over Giants

Baltimore Ravens at

New England Patriots

Renaldo: Gronk is out, Brady is banged up, some guy named Malcolm Mitchell is the new emerging receiver, and Joe Flacco apparently thinks his last name is Montana. These uniforms create a playoff feel all on their own. The Ravens just beat Jay Ajayi...who can stop them?

RAVENS over Patriots

SANNIE: Is Tom Brady playing again? Wasn’t he hurt or suspended or something? Either way, I still love him.

PATS over Ravens