The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

For the past two years or so, the Drake rejuvenated expression “what a time to be alive” has been the go-to expression on social media.

For the uninitiated, Drake is a famous rapper, and until this week his catchphrase (of sorts) had been used and abused for the most mundane and absurd reasons. And I say absurd because blowing an entire paycheck to get Apple’s latest gazillionth iPhone, in my opinion, does not warrant the ‘what a time to be alive’ tag.

But this week - this week! - after the crafty and cutthroat manoeuvre by the infamous Gang of Six (who have now mushroomed into the ‘Sinister Seven’, a suicide squad of their own) I found myself shaking my head and thinking, ‘What a time ...’

I must say that the emails and calls I received from the moment the only secret ever kept for more than three hours in this country was revealed right up until the night of the short knives at the Free National Movement (FNM) Council Meeting have been enlightening:

Some people have called me angry.

Some have called sickened and upset.

Some have called elated and gloating, while a few - bless their hearts - have even called to remind me it’s not too late to ‘Go Green in ‘17!’

Now that the dust is beginning to settle, I think we should all calm down a little.

The move by Long Island MP Loretta Butler-Turner and the other members of the FNM Caucus who wrote to the Governor-General to formally announce their lack of confidence in the FNM Leader (aka Operation Throw Minnis’ Entire Body and His Soul Under the Bus) is a tricky one.

On the one hand, Mrs Butler-Turner is rightfully (and legally) where she and her supporters have wanted her for years.

On the other hand, she can most assuredly kiss that coveted ‘Leader of Opposition in the House’ position goodbye in less than six months.

Six months. All of this hullabaloo for something that will likely last less than six months?

Equally as baffling were the reactions from Bahamians who act like we did not all know this plot point from season 1 of ‘Survivor: FNM’. Seriously, some of you were surprised?!

You obviously don’t watch reality television or ‘Game of Thrones’. (And if you do, shame on you. Danaerys will lose a dragon to the white walkers next season. Yes, that’s a spoiler. And yes, you deserved it.)

But I have to hand it to Mrs Butler-Turner. After failing to win the support of the majority of voting FNM Council members (twice) she has prevailed - for the moment - slapping, sniping, scheming, cajoling, rowing and plotting her way to the top.

She has become the first female Leader of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition, and she has done it by playing politics like a man.

Still, as I said, this entire House takeover is tricky. Do you blow up your entire home because a family member has overstayed their welcome? Or do you leave them in there and take a nice, long vacation and conveniently forget to pay the bank, BPL and cable bills before you go?

After mulling it over for five minutes or so, here are my top pros and cons of the actions of the Gang of Seven (or as Hubert Minnis calls them, the Rebels Without a Cause) so far:

Pro: Loretta Butler-Turner has achieved, regardless of methods, something no other woman has in the history of Bahamian politics.

Con: She won on a technicality. Or, as the old people would say, ‘by tiefen’. The win feels Hillaryish, and the Hillarys of the world eventually lose.

Pro: The Loyal Opposition is now fully united.

Con: Who are we kidding? I suspect Dr Andre Rollins is sharpening his knife for LBT’s back as I type.

Pro: The Opposition now has a thoughtful, eloquent speaker as its leader.

Con: (I got nothing, there really is no downside here.)

Pro: Loretta Butler-Turner and crew will now take the government to task on Freedom of Information, Baha Mar and these hidden Chinese deals.

Con: According to unreliable sources, Prime Minister Christie shuffled, moonwalked, bogled and back-flipped out of the House on Wednesday. So it’s safe to say, in the astute words of rapper French Montana, the Progressive Liberal Party “ain’t worried ‘bout nuthin’.”

Pro: This will force Dr Minnis to honestly re-evaluate his (and his party’s) chances in the next general election.

Con: Right now that chance is around minus 10 per cent, so there’s that.

Pro: The Official Opposition can now seriously negotiate with the fledgling third ... er ... fourth party, the Democratic National Alliance.

Con: Loretta and Bran McCartney in an alliance? Slow swimmers in bloody, shark-infested waters have better odds of survival.

Until next week, I’m off to catch the next episode in this made for ‘reality tv’ drama.

Do not disturb!

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net