The Tribune

WEEK 16

By RENALDO DORSETT

Sports Reporter

rdorsett@tribunemedia.net

New York Giants at

Philadelphia Eagles

RENALDO: Remember when Odell Beckham Jr was a distraction? Not just because of his hair, but because of his stereotypical diva attitude and sideline antics. At that point the Giants were 2-3. Nine weeks later the Giants are 10-4. OBJ is an MVP candidate and we’re all thankful we get to see him for another few weeks. Great distraction.

GIANTS over Eagles

SANNIE: So I was in New York last weekend, only for a few hours but that counts lol, and I can’t wait to go back.

GIANTS over Eagles

Atlanta Falcons at

Carolina Panthers

RENALDO: I can’t wait for someone to hit Cam Newton again, not get flagged for it and give us a fake controversy to talk about during this game. There’s no other reason anyone should find this game interesting. Maybe GQ wants to do some articles on Cam’s stupid parade of hats, but other than that….we can all do without this game.

FALCONS over

Panthers

SANNIE: Boy, as much as I love me some Cam, I need to beat Cardo more, every point counts. (sorry Cam)

FALCONS over

Panthers

Miami Dolphins at

Buffalo Bills

RENALDO: I take back everything I said about Matt Moore. I’m at the mercy of all overzealous Dolphins fans that believed in Moore and thought he could get us to the Super Bowl (Yes one of those exists. His name is John-Marc Nutt. He’s a real person). This is the perfect trap game for the Same Ol Dolphins to return.

The Bills barely have anything to play for, but exacting revenge on Jarvis Landry and fantasy football implications. Dolfans can’t deal with another SOD game. The football gods have smiled upon us (other than the week against the Ravens that they forgot us) and that needs to continue. I just need to remind all Bills players that losing this game pretty much ensures you rid yourself of Rex Ryan forever. Let’s prioritise here.

DOLPHINS over Bills

SANNIE: It seems the Dolphins have pulled themselves together and are finally winning. So, Im going to ride this one out with them.

DOLPHINS over Bills

Washington Racial Slurs

at Chicago Bears

RENALDO: Jay Gruden admitted that he was outcoached by Ron Rivera in last week’s loss, which could only be the beginning of a new 12-step programme for everyone in this organisation. What’s next on the list of obvious things? Could De’Sean Jackson admit that he threw up a Crip sign years ago? Will the front office admit the mascot is a racial slur?

RACIAL SLURS

over Bears

SANNIE: Well this is easy, the Bears have only won three games.

WASHINGTON over

Bears

New York Jets at

New England Patriots

RENALDO: If you thought Sheldon Richardson wasn’t concerned about the game while the Jets were at home last week, wait until he gets to Boston and sees all the Cape Verdian women. Someone may want to change his SnapChat password until Monday.

PATS over Jets

SANNIE: I see the Jets are still awful, why are they still playing again?

PATRIOTS over Jets

San Diego Chargers at

Cleveland Browns

RENALDO: I’m just here to see the Browns go 0-16.

CHARGERS over

Browns

SANNIE: No way, the Browns still haven’t won a game? Impossible.

CHARGERS over

Browns

Tennessee Titans at

Jacksonville Jaguars

RENALDO: Gus Bradley knows where the bodies are buried. It’s the only way to explain how he was allowed to remain as head coach long enough to compile his god-awful 14-48 record. Well the Jaguars front office finally decided that they don’t care if he snitches. “Go ahead, tell the people where the bodies are buried. We’ll take our chances, but we’re not letting you go 14-49. It’s over man.” – unknown Jags executive.

TITANS over Jags

SANNIE: Boy this season has had some terrible teams, Jags included.

TITANS over Jags

Minnesota Vikings at

Green Bay Packers

RENALDO: Is Adrian Peterson the second best running back in this game? Is the best running back in this game a wide receiver? Is everyone still going to ignore Sam Bradford’s jersey size? I give up on 2016. I don’t understand anything about this season.

PACKERS over Vikings

SANNIE: I don’t really care about any of these teams so I will go with Green Bay just because I like the uniforms.

PACKERS over Vikings

Indianapolis Colts at

Oakland Raiders

RENALDO: The Vegas Raiders are giving the Bay Area an incredible send off this season and I’m just happy Bruce Irvin gets to be at the centre of this. He’s the most Al Davis Raider on this roster. High school dropout, turned homeless quasi drug dealer to reinvigorated student athlete to Juco journeyman to Big 12 star to NFL first round draftee to first player ever ejected from a Super Bowl to Super Bowl champion to sought after free agent to Raider to AFC Defensive Player of the Week.

This story is going to get so much better in Vegas.

RAIDERS over Colts

SANNIE: I never thought I would ever be choosing the Raiders because they were the best team but apparently they are actually a good team now. I know, Im surprised too.

RAIDERS over Colts

Tampa Bay Bucs at New

Orleans Saints

RENALDO: Nearly a decade after the decision and I’ll still never forgive the Dolphins front office for “the decision” (non-LeBron version). Daunte Culpepper is now 400 pounds somewhere practicing for a sumo wrestling contest and Drew Brees is still leading the league in passing yards. He gets another 5,000 yards this season, Culpepper is on his 5,000th donut for the month.

SAINTS over Bucs

SANNIE: So, I’m cheap and I’m not buying anything for Christmas so Merry Christmas brother, I am going with your team.

BUCS over Saints

San Francisco 49ers at

Los Angeles Rams

RENALDO: Middle school offence meets middle school defence. Is Kap still kneeling? Is that still a thing? The problem didn’t go away,  so do we just care about it less because he’s so bad and his team is so bad that their horrible football supersedes police brutality? Yes.

NINERS over Rams

SANNIE: One game, that’s all the 49ers have won. Geesh.

RAMS over Niners

Arizona Cardinals at

Seattle Seahawks

RENALDO: Remember when the NFC West was a land of kings? That was all the way back in the before time…in the long long ago…pre Trump and pre Rodney. That was 2013.

SEAHAWKS

over Cards

SANNIE: Russell

Wilson.

SEAHAWKS over

Cardinals

Cincinnati Bengals at

Houston Texas

RENALDO: I need this Tom Savage hype train to continue. There’s an endless supply of 21 Savage puns and references to be made.

Whether the Texans win or lose, I just need him to play well.

BENGALS over Texans

SANNIE: The original Houston girl got 9 Grammy nominations. Queen B is killing it.

TEXANS over Benagls

Baltimore Ravens at

Pittsburgh Steelers

RENALDO: It’s not fair that Ben Roethlisberger is allowed to still have nice things, but he has Le’veon Bell and Antonio Brown, so we’re forced to deal with him.

STEELERS over

Ravens

SANNIE: I will go with the Steelers, no real reason. Just because.

STEELERS over

Ravens

Denver Broncos at

Kansas City Chiefs

RENALDO: The Dolphins need you Alex Smith. Do your job. Andy Reid admitted that the team “got a little too conservative” in last week’s loss, which means Alex Smith gets loose this week – 400 yards passing and four touchdowns….in one game…not on Xbox. Book it.

CHIEFS over Broncos

SANNIE: Chiefs because Denver is having some terrible weather right now. (yes, that’s my reason).CHIEFS over Broncos

Detroit Lions at

Dallas Cowboys

RENALDO: Dak has restarted the clock on the “Romo- Resurgence” with  his performance against the Bucs last week. He would have to have a Fitzpatrick-like collapse to lose the job now. Also the Cowboys hired Sting to teach intimidation. They may never lose another game…ever.

COWBOYS over Lions

SANNIE: Lets go Cowboys! It’s still in Texas and it’s still Beyoncé town.

COWBOYS over Lions