The Tribune

By NICOLE BURROWS

Self-love

As a female, born and raised in The Bahamas, having lived in The Bahamas for all of my life with the exception of college years, I can confidently admit on behalf of my country that self-love is something Bahamians still have less of than they really should.

That’s not to say they won’t make you think otherwise; they’ve found many things to shroud their real and natural selves in order to feel better about what they look like and who they are, so it may be easy for some to think that Bahamians are a proud people. There is pride, yes, but it is often misplaced ... and misdirected.

Our leaders have not historically done a good job at making us feel good about who we are, other than a “black power” movement that went off the rails and turned into something more menacing, leaving us still with some significant amounts of racial division and intolerance.

Listening to news reports of the past week, I am constantly reminded of how big a problem this is, with the offenders often not even realising what they’re saying.

The Commissioner of Police presented his take on Bahamas crime statistics and what they mean, and one of the first things he says in his nothing-new speech, repeating for emphasis, as if somehow that makes it more meaningful, is that reports of the current crime levels can have far-reaching implications for our tourism industry. Here we go again. Now, an industry regarded as primary is important. But, for the third time in as many weeks I ask, what about the Bahamians who have to live here in The Bahamas, especially on New Providence, day-in, day-out, for whom I would imagine crime levels are much more of a concern?

They don’t have money to vacate. They can’t hop back on a plane or cruise ship and fly or sail back home to where they can dwell, affordably, in safety behind a gate somewhere. Yet the first thing these horrible official speechwriters and public officers say is we need to lower crime for our visitors. What will it take for our leaders to get an understanding that yes, we care about our visitors, but we care about ourselves more? That’s the way it is, that’s the way it should be. If the leadership in all areas of Bahamian governance approached every positive or negative thing with all the Bahamian people’s welfare in mind first before anything else, we would likely not find ourselves in this current dilemma, and especially not to the extent that we do.

On the heels of the Commissioner’s statement, here comes the fumbling, bumbling Free National Movement leader Hubert Minnis with words about why it’s necessary to give “undocumented illegals” access to free health care. For the record, we understand that communicable diseases are of concern and as a health care provider Dr Minnis is responsibly concerned. But he focuses his remark on the fact that denying free health care to those with communicable diseases could have a devastating effect on our tourism industry.

We get it. It’s important to you. It is important in and of itself. So find a way to stave off the transfer of communicable diseases amongst the immigrant communities in such a way that it protects ... the Bahamian people first! Who cares about the tourists, if Bahamians are sick? If Bahamians are sick, the tourists aren’t coming anyway, I promise you that. So before they even become your primary concern, think about your people.

And they wonder why we’re short on self-love.

Afro puff love

The Afro puff debate that spawned from a C R Walker student’s “hairstyle” reprimand is also revealing of Bahamians’ lack of self-love. The school’s principal took issue with the Afro puff, and I paraphrase her words, because “the middle of the hair open up”, “it looks untidy, ungroomed, unkempt and ... not combed for days”. She wants to curb that look.

To be fair to her, she has two valid points: the school has rules to be followed, and if wearing your hair in a way they find problematic is one of them then you have a choice to make. Either you conform, or you ask for special permission, which the mother purportedly did. The other valid point is that I, while wishing I could have a real Afro puff myself, have seen some of them with actual dirt and other particles stuck in or running through them. Granted, I’ve also seen the same in relaxed hair and other natural and unnatural hairstyles. But, on the point of hygiene, I understand the principal’s concern.

The part that becomes the problem and is telling is where the principal sees the Afro puff as a hair ‘style’. Sure it’s become one, but it’s also the natural condition of Afro hair when you pull it in one or comb it out or both. So what she may think is about fashion is natural, normal if you will. What is not normal is slicking Afro hair back with chemicals, or braiding synthetic or other hair into the natural hair. Now, I have many friends with hair worn in various states of naturalness, some of them looking incredibly beautiful. It doesn’t take away from them if they choose these, but the argument cannot be had that anything that you add to your hair that doesn’t grow out of your head is natural ... or naturally yours.

The point I’m making is that principal McKay and many, many other Bahamians, brown-skinned to light-skinned, female and male, don’t understand and therefore do not, cannot, appreciate black female hair in its natural state. They see it as merely a fashion statement that many women of brown-hued skin have opted to wear their hair natural. They really have been so brainwashed over decades, centuries, that black hair should look any other way than it does when it’s natural.

I strongly believe that principal McKay, who seems like a kind and professional woman, honestly believes (by hearing her speak on it) that natural hair is to some extent, well ... unnatural. And I’m not angry with her for her ignorance; I feel sorry for her and all the other Bahamians and people of African descent who are of the same mindset. Years of lacking in self-love have brought them to that place, whether they know it or not, whether they chose it or not. And they are so conditioned that they can’t even see what’s wrong with their perspective. Look at Ms McKay: she has relaxed hair, it appears, and that is her benchmark. She is of the generation and/or school of thought where your hair should be cleaned and combed often, and there’s nothing wrong with that, unless of course you have dreadlocks or wear your hair another way that doesn’t lend itself to traditional combing.

The photo displayed of the student’s hair in question looked fine from a distance. If something was crawling out of it, or it was filthy up close, that’s a different story and I’m on Ms McKay’s side. But, generally speaking, I don’t think the problem was with this young student or her hairstyle ... the problem was/is with the fact that black people as a people have been so brainwashed that they can only think of “natural” as a style, and not as an occurrence of nature to be embraced.

Love for her fellow man

I rode another bus the other day. It was overcrowded; the relevance of that is upcoming.

There was a young, brown-skinned woman sitting, with two small children, near to me. I watched her as she quietly comforted them; the older one may have been about three, the younger one may not have reached his first birthday yet. They weren’t rude, but all I could think was how is this young woman, who really looks like a young girl, managing with these two boy children so close in age? And then I looked over to the other side, when more people hopped aboard and everyone shifted to make room, and there was a third little boy who was about two years old. And, of course, I was even more baffled and thinking how stressed this young lady must be every day dealing with little boys barely one, two, and three.

And as I’m contemplating this, and wondering how distracted she must feel all day long, there’s a pale-faced, phenotypically white man who gets on board and doesn’t understand the transit card system, doesn’t have a transit card and the driver tries to explain to him that he has to get one so he doesn’t need cash. I’m standing between the young mother of three and this man, and I see when she reaches down to get something. She then taps my leg and asks me to give it to the pale man with no card. I bend down to confirm and repeat her intention. She nods affirmatively, so I touch the man and give it to him, motioning to the young woman. Of course, he’s surprised and grateful as she communicates to him that he can have her extra card and tells him how to use it. Needless to say, I was moved. I’m often moved with my extreme sentimentality, but this selflessness and kindness and love just displayed before me was/is humbling.

When we think there is no love left in the world, it appears before our very eyes, and, if we’re fortunate enough, we may end up being a part of it.

Send email to nburrows at tribunemedia.net