The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

Too many men

Too many people

Making too many problems

And not much love to go round

Can’t you see

This is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in

And these are the hands we’re given

Use them and let’s start trying

To make it a place worth living in.

• Genesis ‘Land of Confusion’
  

SADLY, the lyrics penned by Phil Collins in that classic hit song “Land of Confusion” are so poignant and so eerily descriptive of our present situation both politically and nationally.

My beloved Bahamas is a “land of confusion” with none of the political entities offering a solution to our present problems and a positive way forward with obvious positive changes desperately necessary.

The four Cs

Unfortunately the four Cs – corruption, cronyism, crime and the Chinese – have us hopelessly spinning our wheels in the mud, with no answers in sight.

Yet despite its numerous problems internally and externally, the Progressive Liberal Party (PLP) manages to keep its skeletons duct taped and locked down in the closet for the most part.

Add their well-paid (if not well-intentioned) spin doctors who are great at finger-pointing, all while using smoke and mirror tactics to distract the masses from every epic failure by this present administration, and the party limps along.

Ironically, the Free National Movement (FNM) needs to take a page out of the PLP’s playbook, at least as far as keeping issues in house is concerned. It is absolutely appalling that such a storied political organisation such as the FNM, which should be poised to become the next government of the Bahamas, is in utter shambles.

All the Doctor’s horses

Despite zealous efforts, Dr Minnis can’t seem to mend the fracture in his party. His intentions for unity may be true and pure, but there is a lack of execution within the party.

Undermining and undoing the leader, intentionally or unintentionally, are the “Old Guards” with their heels dug in, set in their ways and views, leery of change and new political ideas and strategies.

Equally divisive and disruptive are Minnis’ hand picked “Young Turks”, hell bent on forcing the “new agenda” of their leader and the “new” party line.

In all their haste and political naïveté these “political rookies” don’t seem to comprehend how they are shooting the party in the foot and casting a very hypocritical and disingenuous image.

Know your Rolle

A prime example is Senator Lanisha Rolle and her premature, unsolicited remarks on national radio. While valiant and demonstrative of her loyalty to her leader, Dr Minnis, her remarks were detrimental to the party nonetheless.

We all know I am all for freedom of speech, and Senator Rolle has every right to exercise hers; just make it count when you do and don’t further divide the party in the process.

Rolle’s remarks were exactly the kind she has been lobbying against when made by other members in the party and media against “Team Minnis”. You can’t be critical of an exercise, if you yourself practice the same exercise.

Alluding to certain sitting members as “temporarily” holding their nominations and seats does not speak well to the party’s cry for transparency and accountability. Rolle’s remarks paint the picture that certain members of the FNM’s fate may already be sealed politically.

Not too transparent or accountable if you ask me.

Throw in the $6bn reference faux pas, when it was actually $1.6bn, and empty barrel references are being attached to Senator Rolle fast and furiously.

Clearly Dr Minnis should have intervened by now, ordering a public apology from Rolle, teaching the young Senator a political lesson, all while gaining points as a leader from political peers and the voting populace in the process.

Minnis would also be closing a wound felt by certain senior party members, potentially allowing the party some movement forward in one accord.

Dr Minnis, let me show you how it’s done:

“Lanisha, apologise to your fellow party members and from here on out you need to ‘know your role and shut your mouth’.”

But, alas, not one word from the good doctor.

Interestingly, nothing was said or done as far as a public apology or statement from either Dr Minnis or the FNM party, let alone the young, boisterous Senator.

Don’t call it a comeback

As a result of the ongoing drama in the FNM, certain individuals felt the coast was clear to give their unsolicited opinions.

Former FNM MP turned PLP the last two elections, now turned FNM again (judging by his recent remarks) Mr Tennyson Wells by far took most advantage of the verbal free-for-all, basically accusing Montagu MP Richard Lightbourne of being a “racist”.

Where did this bitter old curmudgeon emerge from? I thought Wells had retired to his native Long Island to run sheep.

Or could it be that somewhere in the disarray that is the FNM, Wells may be plotting a political comeback, kissing up to Dr Minnis publicly, all while embodying the opposite of Dr Minnis’ statements?

Further proof that “politics breeds strange bedfellows” and makes “septuagenarians” think they have an eternal political shelf life.

Mr Wells, your product “been spoiled longtime”.

Rollinsgate

As if Wells’ remarks and playing of the “race card” weren’t embarrassing enough to the FNM and Long Island, an alleged “secret” Long Island constituency meeting minus MP Loretta Butler-Turner (allegedly to nominate Dr Andre Rollins for the area) led to more ill feelings between Mrs Butler-Turner and the FNM hierarchy, all the while casting a dark cloud of doubt over the transparency, accountability and democracy in the party.

I find it quite ironic that only days ago I had a chance to talk to Dr Rollins and he expressed to me that he would remain in Fort Charlotte as he had no knowledge of the party running him elsewhere.

Once again the situation could have been handled more diplomatically, as in minus the air of underhandedness.

Attention FNM Chairman Michael Pintard ... time to display your impressive communication and networking skills. The very survival of your party hangs in the balance.

V is for Vile

Minister of Agriculture and Marine Resources V Alfred Gray has truly outdone himself. Just when I thought the good minister had shined up his dusty shoes and decided to walk the straight and narrow, he’s once again in the headlines. And not in a positive light.

The last time we heard from Minister Gray, he was advising residents in his MICAL constituency to seek refuge from Hurricane Joaquin in a cave. Since that politically incorrect moment, the Minister remained relatively quiet and (shockingly) controversy free.

That is, until this week when “Delia” showed up with pen and paper in hand. Apparently not content to escape scandal for too long, Minister Gray decided to ignite another fire surrounding the (doomed) BAMSI development.

The drama began in typical political fashion. The Member of Parliament for Fort Charlotte, Dr Andre Rollins (FNM), raised questions in the House of Assembly concerning the awarding of contracts at the Bahamas Agriculture and Marine Science Institute. We subsequently learned that former PLP Cabinet minister Darrell Rolle has interests in a company called Andarco that was awarded a multi-million dollar contract to build a dormitory at BAMSI.

Now, as disgraceful as it is to imagine crony capitalism at play (the company was incorporated just in time to be awarded the contract), it’s no shocker. After all, the PLP has a well-earned reputation around town as the party that focuses on “family, friends and lovers”.

What was surprising was Minister’s Gray blunt admission: “We are going to do as much as we can for the people who support us because if it hadn’t it been for them we wouldn’t be in power today.” (Yes, he really said that out loud).

Oblivious to the level of contempt he expressed to the average, hard-working Bahamian who believes in fair play and an honest shot at a government contract, Minister Gray then kicked up more dust and hinted at some dirt he has on the “former government” with respect to awarding contracts saying, “I am not going to call any names but if they push me I will. These are the hypocrisies that bother me.”

Ah, yes, the hypocrisies. Spouting “believe in Bahamians” when the truth is closer to “cash for cronies” is considered hypocrisy. But I digress.

Minister Gray, in his own shameless and shameful words, has solidified his position as the least “in touch” member of the Christie Cabinet. Which is no easy feat. Just consider the competition.

But he has also done Bahamian voters a favour. Between his admitted “misjudgment” in intervening in a judicial matter in Mayaguana to telling people to “hide in a cave” to admonishing Bahamians traumatised by Joaquin to be “grateful” for shabby accommodations to his latest defence of this BAMSI contract fiasco, Minister Gray is showing Bahamians exactly who he is. And exactly how he thinks.

Perhaps he can do us one more favour and “call names”. If he does indeed have information on others who “gave contracts to their supporters” please “name and shame” them all. The next general election is right around the corner. It would be nice if the electorate can scrape its shoes clean for once and for all.

Ruffin tumble

Former Crystal Palace Casino owner Phil Ruffin proclaimed this week that he does not owe any outstanding casino taxes to the Bahamian government.

That’s a curious statement ... especially since the Auditor General’s report says there is an outstanding sum of millions still unpaid. Also, the Minister of Tourism Obie Wilchcombe says there remains a huge balance unpaid.

I’m inclined to believe that where there’s smoke there’s potentially a $7m fire. In other words, someone has some explaining to do. And some cash to cough up. Quickly. There’s a big party coming up in May. So to everyone who owes the country money I’m here to say we could use that ‘lil ting’ right about now.

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net.