The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

After listening to my good friend Steve McKinney on his most objective, thorough and well-researched talk show ‘Hard Copy’ my mouth was agape.

It wasn’t me just thinking it, other Bahamians were also. Steve was just saying it for us all.

Our beaches were next on the list to be stripped from us.

Albeit some denied-oxygen-in-the-womb, unscrupulous jet ski operators (licenced or not) brought more unnecessary negative publicity to our shores.

Which, for lack of a better word, sucks for the honest, hardworking, quality guest-experience-orientated jet ski operators who I call friends from my years of working in the Activities and Entertainment departments of two major resorts, Atlantis and SuperClubs Breezes. I worked around these men and saw the quality service displayed, and for that (and they know who they are) they have my respect.

Nonetheless, there are jet ski industry-related matters that are before the courts, so I will leave it right there in that regard.

The real burr in my saddle is that access to beaches for Bahamians (and tourists to an extent) are slowly but surely being denied. The beaches are ‘cunningly’ being blocked in one form or another. From sand piles to breakwaters to illegally padlocked fences with signs warning trespassers of impending prosecution.

As much as I’d like to rant and rave about each blockaded beach, I have to focus on one in particular: Cabbage Beach.

It’s a crying shame that Bahamians may be denied entry to a beautiful beach which should be enjoyed by Bahamians of all walks of life.

Instead we are subjected to security officers, chain link fences and padlocks.

Am I to believe that we only have Saunders Beach and Goodman’s Bay left?

Are we being herded to two particular beaches for a particular reason?

Are we not wanted on all the beaches out west or over the government bridge?

It’s a rite of passage for Bahamian teenagers to hit the beach on the weekends. As the ‘old folks’ say “from time immemorial” Cabbage Beach has been that ‘beach’ we refer to when we as Bahamians say we will “hit the beach”.

I can remember countless weekends spent on that very same beach. Part of the fun was trekking through the cut and peering down like ‘pirates’ as to what treasures lay below.

My peer group downed countless Swanks pizzas, KFC and libations. We shared lasting memories and numerous laughs on ‘our’ spot on Cabbage Beach.

Every crew or clique had their spot. When I look back on it now it’s even more comical: some of us still congregate ritualistically in the same crews and cliques years later, and of course in the same spots.

All of these lasting friendships grown from the seeds sown on Cabbage Beach, to which we had access morning, noon and night.

Yes, youngsters, we could go out there at night and not get robbed, raped or murdered. It’s true: ask your parents or grandparents, don’t take my word for it.

There was nothing like shooting hoops at Malcolm Park, then hitting Cabbage Beach for a swim and cool down. Training by running Cabbage Beach was always fun, as it always had such interesting and inspirational scenery.

When I think that future generations of Bahamians could lose out on the positive experiences I enjoyed in my youth I ask myself, ‘where are our politicians in all of this?’

The majority are deflecting on the usual convenient topics - Baha Mar, crime, Carnival and VAT.

Actually there’s one (Minister of Tourism Obie Wilchcombe) who has spoken consistently and resolutely on the matter. I believe Mr Wilchcombe when he says Bahamians will have access to Cabbage Beach.

But how long will we have to wait? You know we Bahamians are legendary, especially in the government sector, for ‘slunkin.’ And I see a lot of ‘red tape’ all over this one.

Is this going to drag on like the answer to crime, unemployment, the Baha Mar liquidation, the NIB report, BAMSI, LOIs (you get the picture)?

What are we to do, tunnel under the fences like ‘Chapo’ Guzman?

Should we remove the manmade sand dunes that block beach entrances on

the eastern and western ends of the island one bucket at a time?

Should we ask my friend Chris Herrod to remove the breakwaters at Caves Beach?

Or do we wait it out?

I don’t think this is an option. As I said, I fear the ‘slunkers’.

I can see it now. The ones still alive from my generation, finally gaining access to Cabbage Beach, carting our ‘walkers’ or ‘scooters’ across the sand like ancient nomads. Plopping down whenever exhaustion overwhelms us, or when it’s time for our meds or depends to change. Whichever comes first. Either way it works, since we will be too old to remember where our ‘spot’ is.

I know how governance in my Bahamas goes. No party will rush to pass a Bill that allows Bahamians the complete and unrestricted access to all public beaches. Foreign investors with ‘mega’ projects don’t like trivial formalities such as the rights of the ‘locals’.

And if we did get legislation, would we get a Bill with no grey areas or loopholes to be exploited by foreign investors and ravenous Bahamian lawyers out for personal gain?

We’ve lost so much as a nation and a people due to ‘special interest’ investors, local and foreign. We as a people must put our beach chairs and towels down and demand that we at least maintain access to public beaches for this generation, and generations to come.

And if beach access for Bahamians starts to stall and we continue to be denied “we t’ings”, beach and moan, beach and moan, beach and moan. And then beach some more!

Sometimes life’s a beach I guess!

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net.