The Tribune

By Rev Canon S

Sebastian Campbell

I keep six honest

serving-men (They

taught me all I knew);

Their names are What

and Why and When

And How and Where

and Who.

– Rudyard Kipling

IN his workshop, famed engineer Willis H Carrier gave a formula to solve all worry situations. He said that there are three basic steps of problem analysis.

The three steps are:

1. Get the facts

2. Analyse the facts

3. Arrive at a decision –

and then act on

the decision

Sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But how many of us ever employ any formula to face the inevitable challenges worry brings. We have problems harassing us and turning our lives into veritable hells. This society has played itself out with worries. Many of us are shackled with heavy burdens. So many of us are looking old before our time. Marital problems are at a premium. Divorces rock the nation. Parents cannot control so many of their pre-teens. Then the big one – finances. Bahamians continue to spend what they don’t have, on what they don’t need, so as to convince those they don’t like that they have something. Consequently, many of us live in the hands of the finance man. Let’s confess we have some serious problems. Let’s handle it!

Get the facts

We cannot solve problems intelligently until all the facts are in. No lawyer calls his case until he has the evidence. Without the facts, all we can do is muddle around in confusion. Confusion is the chief cause of worry. E Hawkes, professor at Columbia College, said: “Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision. I don’t worry...I don’t agonise over my problems. I don’t lose any sleep. I simply concentrate on getting the facts…and usually after gathering all the facts my problem is solved… worries usually evaporate in the light of knowledge.”

Facts must be gathered in an impartial, objective manner. How easy is that when we are worried? When we are worried our emotions are running high. You must therefore play a pretence game. Pretend that the information is not for you, but for someone else. This will help to eliminate emotions. Maybe we can pretend that we are lawyers, primarily to argue the other side of the issue. Simply try to get all the facts that seem damaging to you, all the facts you don’t want to face. Then proceed to write down both sides of the case in an impartial manner. No one or no institution is brilliant enough to reach a sensible conclusion without the facts. We short-change our own decision-making by jumping to conclusions like so many of us always do.

Analyse the facts

It is much easier to analyse facts after writing them down. It is said a problem well stated is a problem half solved. If part one asks the question, “What am I worrying about?” Part two answers the question, “What can I do about it?”

There are often many options, however, a careful analytical process is the only way to discover them. So often we simply do the first thing that comes to mind and we live to regret it. Oftentimes this stage involves the opinion of others – a trusted friend; one who can be blatantly frank with us.

Remember it is better to be saved by criticism than to be ruined by praise. Arrive at a decision: experience teaches us the value at arriving at a decision. Many are destroyed because they cannot arrive at a decision. Going round and round in maddening circles leads to nervous breakdowns and living hells. It is said that 50 per cent of our worries vanish once we arrive at a clear, definite decision, and another 40 per cent usually vanishes once we start to carry out that decision. So where are we now? We have arrived at the point where we can conclude that we can banish 90 per cent of our worries by taking four steps:

1. Writing down precisely what we are worrying about
   

2. Writing down what we can do about it

3. Deciding what to do

4. Starting immediately to carry out that decision

Action sums it all up in the end. Unless we carry out our action, all our fact-finding and analysis is in vain – it’s a sheer waste of energy. Too many Bahamians languish in tortuous conditions only because of their failure to act. How many more wives are going to be physically and verbally abused and treated as dirt simply because they lack the backbone to get up and bury a dead relationship? Many men, on the other hand, are at the receiving end of abusive relationships yet they refuse to accept the inevitability of the relationship being irreconcilable and therefore continue to flam. How many parents languish in homes with uncontrollable children? Afraid to lash their backsides or to throw them out, even after everything else has failed. Many of us find ourselves in relationships that are taking us to the cleaners, yet we lack courage like the Prodigal Son to come to our senses, to get up and reverse our actions. Many are in unfulfilling jobs that are leading them no where, yet they hold on, refusing to be brave and bold enough to steer courageously into the prevailing winds of change that beckon all of us from time to time on the voyage of life. The time comes, in all of our lives, when we must decide and act, and never look back.