The Tribune

I see resilience as that indefinable, elastic-like quality that stretches your capacity to hold yourself together in the midst of life’s ever changing weather.

Of course, when the weather is good it’s easy to think you have it all together. But when the weather changes, as it will, and you’re stuck in your own personal storm, your resilience or the lack thereof shows you what you’re really made of.

In a socially, emotionally and financially challenging environment, resilience is quite possibly the most powerful currency of today. The more resilient you are, the more effective you become at figuring out how to pick up the pieces and get back on the train of life.

Yet the currency of resilience is in short supply for a vast number of people. To answer today’s question, many persons are simply not resilient enough. They have not invested the time and effort to build their resilience. As such, when storms come their way there’s no capacity to figure a way out.

I find this odd, considering the tenets of the upbringing many of us experienced in those humbling homesteads of Over the Hill.

Growing up in Bain Town, I had my share challenges, but also my share of life lessons. My mother is the most resilient person I know. I watched her face some of the most difficult life battles, including physical abuse, and yet, like David, she stood firm. Despite those Goliath-like challenges, she kept stretching her capacity; figuring out what to do. Becoming a single parent, making ends meet and taking care of her children. She became a pro at picking up the pieces and keeping it moving.

Her courage to start over and step into unknown spaces was admirable. Indeed, the quality of my resilience, I literally got from my mother. She taught me how figure things out. No, she didn’t just talk the talk. Instead, with her own life, my mother demonstrated how to face the ever changing weathers of life with a sense of confidence.

Her chief lesson to me was you never know what you’re made of until you have reason to test your strength. Your capacity to deal with life’s challenges is the only way to know if you are resilient enough.

Parents who fail to teach resilience to their children inadvertently teach their children to cower when challenged. This is the greatest disservice a parent can impose. The irony here is that children are born with an innate sense of resilience. Falling down – getting up – getting sick – getting well. Their little bodies learn to figure out how to navigate those early on.

Then for some reason, parents develop a fixation to do ‘everything’ for their children – unknowingly “disabling” them in the process. A great quote is “Don’t do for your children that which they can do for themselves.”

Thought-provoking words to consider when you observe the commonplace antisocial behaviour of many young adults. The question for parents to ponder - are your children resilient enough? Do they know how to face challenges without you?

Here are three key principles I’ve come to respect and accept about life – first, change is its nature; second, everything changes and third, there are no safe spaces to hide from change.

Nothing will hit you harder than life. However, the purpose of life is not for you to shrink when hit by those hard balls but to build enough resilience to volley those balls over the net.

Understand that life doesn’t care what you choose to do with it. The best that you can do is to get better at how you meet life challenges. Your resilience makes the difference in how well you bounce back. It begins with resilient thinking. You must be able to think better before you can do better.

Leader to leader – understand that good weather is easy to sail through. You discover who you really are when you are able to walk through the storms of life with enthusiasm and confidence.

Resilience is the most valuable currency – it is a must have if you are going to live an empowered life. Yes, You Can Do It!

What do you think? Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or call 429-6770.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach and leadership expert. Visit the website www.michellemmiller.com or send mail to P O Box CB-13060.