The Tribune

As a life coach and therapist, the greatest struggle I find that many clients bring to their session is not having an answer to the question of what they want for their life.

Knowing what you want is the key to your capacity to live with purpose and intention. It brings you a sense of clarity about what choices you need to make in order to achieve that specific outcome.

On the other hand, not knowing what you want leads you down the alley of fogginess. You have no clarity, no confidence and you pick and choose without any real thought.

Your life is the result of every choice you make or fail to make. So if you are picking a choosing at random, you’ll get random results and live a random kind of life. What you want must be a clear and present declaration.

But where do you begin to find a sincere answer to today’s question. Every life quest begins within. For this reason, the greatest work I encourage my clients to undertake is to first figure out who they are before answering the question of what they want. It’s what I call growing roots before branches.

How do you go after what you want when you don’t really know who you are? This is the work that must be done. Many people are simply not rooted. They have no idea of who they are or why they are living the way they do.

Take a look at some married folks or those in a relationship who claim they want whatever their spouse wants. But is this really true? For many it is not. Deep within many secretly yearn for something different or better. A divorce is often the greatest purveyor of this truth.

Then you have the career climbers. These are the folks who find themselves stuck in certain job function or position claiming they want whatever the company wants. Yet deep within they secretly yearn for a job that’s offers more passion and fulfilment. The point here is, without knowing the root of who you are you can never really grow branches that are a reflection of an empowered life.

Where do you begin such a life quest? I like to idea of beginning with yourself – with the man in the mirror, so to speak.

Make the time and create the space in your daily routine to dedicate to yourself. Give yourself permission to be brutally honest with and have that long overdue conversation. This will help you find out just how you are rooted and whether or not you are really spending time chasing after things that matters to you or just going through the motion and chasing things that matters to others.

Getting to know yourself on this level challenges you to get inside your life. It reminds you to go beyond mediocrity and live a bigger life. Whether you know it or not, your life is created for a purpose. You are here to make a major impact, but you must grow roots before branches.

Leader to leader, the only way you can know what you want for your life is to first know who you are in your life. Understand that trees stand strong because they are rooted in the stabilising, empowering soil of life. You can do the same.

When you know what lies within you, you become better able to meet the challenges that may lie ahead of you.

Make today the day that you begin the quest of knowing who you are and what you really want. It is the golden ticket to living an empowered life.

What do you think?

Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach. Visit www.michellemmiller.com or send mail to PO Box CB-13060.