The Tribune

By BIANCA CARTER

When you become a mom for the first time it’s life-changing, isn’t it?

People will try to explain how you will feel, and what it will be like when you have the baby, but they can never find the right words to describe the magnitude of emotions and love you feel when you actually give birth. After you give birth, the next thing new mothers are always asked is, “Will you have another one?”

Considering they’ve just pushed a watermelon out of their body, this may not go over so well. And then time passes and we forget, don’t we? That clock gets ticking and tocking, louder and louder, and we find ourselves pondering the thought of #2.

Some of you might be wondering, as many of us have, if you’ll be able to love another child as much as you love your first child. Truthfully, yes! It’s hard to imagine that your heart can hold all that love and emotion, but it can. Love is different for everyone. We all love people for different reasons, and connect with people in different ways. It’s like that when you have another child, too.

Here are some of the joys you’ll have with having #2:

1 You know what you are doing.

This notion was so settling for me when I had my second child. You may not be the expert parent, but who is anyway? At the very least, you’ll know how to change a diaper. That’s more than you knew the first time; so it’s all good. It’s just good to know that you’ve done this before, and by golly, you can do it again, even better and more prepared. Preparedness + experience = success.

2 Your buddy has a buddy now.

Just knowing that your kids have each other is magical. They have a forever play date or fighting buddy, whichever.

3 Bye, bye germaphobia.

Seriously, no one can keep up with the hand sanitiser 24 hours a day. At some point, when you’re not looking, your kid’s going to touch a door knob or lick the floor. And when you have #2, it won’t matter as much, because you know that they will live.

4 They’ll be tag team partners for life.

You’ll get the memo very early on that when you mess with one, you mess with both. All of a sudden the fighting pro duo will turn against, yup, you! All of the smart and sneaky grins when one gets the rap for being difficult will all of a sudden go out the window, and you become enemy numero uno. Why? Because they’ve realised that if they get you alone, it’s just you and them; one against two, and they outnumber you every time. If you make one cry, the other quickly jumps in to save the day, making you feel like you’ve got to be the worst parent around. Raise your voice at one, and the other comes running to the rescue. It’s pretty remarkable how they turn it on and off. But secretly, you can’t help but love it. Partners ’til the end.

5 It’s like having one, but for funner (OK, that was for my legally blond fans). After the sleepless, exhausting days and nights, OK wait, that never ends. Ahem...after you get used to all that sleep deprivation, being a parent is really fun. When else will you feel the same excitement watching someone eat mashed peas? Or how about all the excitement of watching your kid see a baby duck for the first time? The cuddles, drooly smiles and open mouth kisses can never be replaced; they’re what we live for as parents. The simple beauty of watching your child grow and learn and experience the world is like no other experience on Earth. Who doesn’t want to do that twice?

Are you thinking about having your second child?

Love and hugs!

• Bianca Carter is a certified lactation counsellor and founder of Bun in the Oven.

For more information, e-mail her at info@babybunintheoven.com. Follow BITO on Facebook at babybunintheoven, and check out the BITO Blog every Monday and Thursday at http://babybunintheoven.com.