The Tribune

A Comic's View

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ zenicazelaya

Earlier this week, both the Free National Movement and the Progressive Liberal Party ratified more candidates for the upcoming general election.

The PLP pulled off their event in the usual PLP way.

The FNM, on the other hand, saw an unexpected protest erupt.

Perhaps we should have seen this coming. Anyone with an ear to the political ground knew that Lincoln Bain was supposed to be the FNM’s standard bearer in Pinewood.

For years, the outspoken talk show host made it known loud and clear that Pinewood was ‘his tings’, having worked with the party’s area constituency office in an unrelenting pursuit of representing ‘his people’. So when the announcement came on Monday that novice politician Reuben Rahming was tapped for Pinewood, I knew drama was sure to follow.

And follow Bain did, showing up to the rally to ratify new candidates on Tuesday with a dozen Pinewood Association members and holding up a sign that read, “Minnis is a lying wonder”, a reference to FNM leader Dr Hubert Minnis.

Before we digest that nugget, here’s a quick primer on how we got to this point.

Earlier this year, Bain got into a public feud with Minnis disciple and former Senator Lanisha Rolle after she allegedly tried to muscle him out of the Pinewood constituency. He claimed she informed him he would not get the nod from party hierarchy. A back and forth ensued before an audio recording of the conversation between Bain and Rolle made its way to the media. Rolle accused Bain of recording her without her consent but had to resign due to other allegedly disparaging comments caught on the clandestine recording. Bain said he only recorded their conversation to protect himself.

Got all that? Good.

Fast forward a few months later and Rolle, who by all accounts is an abashed pitbull for Dr Minnis, is sitting pretty on her way to a nomination in Sea Breeze while Bain was unceremoniously dumped and literally left out in the rain.

The rally on Tuesday should have been, by all measures, a ‘show out’ moment for the FNM.

So far, they have managed to field some mildly impressive candidates like Walt Sanders, Dionisio D’Aguilar, Marvin Dames and Jeff Lloyd. Loretta Butler-Turner was even present, smiling and seeming more content than she has appeared in months.

But that “lying wonder” sign definitely stole the show. And the party has spent the past two days explaining Bain’s non-nomination instead of focusing on the candidates they actually put forth. And now, like clockwork, all the dirty laundry is being aired.

Bain, who hosts a talk show on MoreFM, claims Dr Minnis had previously promised him and the FNM Pinewood Constituency Association that Bain would get the nomination. He was snubbed because of his falling-out with Minnis’ blue-eyed girl Lanisha Rolle.

The FNM under Minnis is winging it, with no platform or plans on how to handle immigration, energy or even little ole Carnival should they miss and get elected.

I don’t know (and honestly, I don’t really care) which side is ‘telling the truth and shaming the Devil’ in this unnecessary intra-mural scrap. But I do know that it makes Team Minnis look ‘dead shady’ at a time it cannot afford to.

If Dr Minnis and the FNM cannot manage a candidate selection without kicking themselves in the teeth, then how can they manage the myriad of problems they would inherit from the present government?

I don’t have a horse in the Pinewood race but it does strike me as odd that the candidate who was selected, Reuben Rahming, is not the person the Association supports.

Rahming himself was quoted in yesterday’s Tribune saying the party “did what they needed to do”. He went on to say elections were about “yes and no it is not about someone voting for someone”.

Which is news to me. Good luck with that strategy at the ballot boxes and getting that ‘L’ off your forehead Mr Rahming.

In foresight, his ‘selection’ may prove a fatal flaw for the FNM should Mr Bain pony up his $400 and play the role of independent spoiler come Election Day.

And somewhere out there PLP incumbent Khaalis Rolle is licking his chops and smiling (Rolle knows ‘chalk’ when he sees it.)

On second thought, I think I do want to know which side is telling the truth in this whole row. If only we had a recording ...

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net

Minnis is our Trump? I don't think so

NOW THAT Donald Trump is the new president-elect of the United States, ‘errybody and dey Ma’ has his name in their mouth.

I am surprised at the number of FNM supporters who are now quick to label Dr Minnis as the Bahamas’ own Trump. I am surprised they think this is a compliment, given some of Trump’s comments on the campaign trail.

First off, I know Donald Trump.

I’ve written jokes about Donald Trump.

Dr Minnis is no Donald Trump.

That Minnis’ supporters want to win so badly they would blindly tie his name to that of Trump is laughable.

Yes, both Minnis and Trump have been beaten up soundly in the press. Yes, both men say a lot of words without actually talking specific policy. But whereas Trump is admittedly a captivating speaker, Dr Minnis is not.

Trump is controversial by design, Minnis is controversial by accident.

Trump is brassy, bold, and a brings a level of in-your-face-crazy we haven’t seen in a generation. Minnis is mild-mannered.

Trump is an extrovert. Minnis is clearly an introvert.

Trump is your typical strongman. And, well Minnis ... you get the picture.

I can only think Minnisites feel tying Minnis to Trump will create a certain enthusiasm around their candidate.

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Minnis is Minnis, and that’s all he can or should try to be.

In Trump’s world, Trump is his own hero and the apex predator. Bigly.

One thing is certain though: the next Prime Minister of this country will have to operate in Trump’s world as the new president imposes his world view on all of humanity. So now this tiny nation needs to take that into consideration as well when we head to the polls.

We don’t necessarily need Trump Lite in this country. So can all those comparing Minnis to Trump cut it out?

Besides, if you take on that comparison you have to take the good with the bad. Would Minnis ever dare say some of the things Trump has said to grab voters’ ... er ... attention? Seeing as the good doctor is a retired gynecologist, I pray not.

Until next week I will leave you with these words from Jim Rohn:

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humour, but without folly.”

Comments and questions to naughty@

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