The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

So, has enough time passed for us to officially label Bahamas Power and Light as lousy?

In the days right after Hurricane Matthew, many people were hesitant to call out the “powerless”’ company for the slow return of electricity to the whole island. In fact, having power restored to my home just a day after Matthew passed, I initially was ready to give the company kudos. Then I realized my situation was the exception, not the rule, as many of my neighbours were still peering out of darkened windows as night, no doubt focusing their eyes (and anger) on the little light escaping down the street from the homes of a lucky few of us on the block.

Two days after Matthew, BPL still had the benefit of the doubt. A quick glance at the company’s Facebook page revealed that many Bahamians simply wanted updates: ‘When y’all coming to my area? Update please!’

‘Don’t forget us in Carmichael, update us please’ the posts generally read.

Fast forward to today and the comments look very different, much of the lighthearted tone diminishing with each darkened night:

‘Day 16 and no power, y’all joking SMT’

‘Power still off. Y’all better don’t send me no bill for October’

‘Any chance of civilization tonight? #lousy’

It seems that upwards of two weeks without electricity was the tipping point. No one is prepared to give BPL the benefit of the doubt anymore. No one (who isn’t on their payroll) is praising their efforts now. And why should we?

The “lucky” ones amongst us aren’t so far removed from a summer of frustration with constant “load shedding” not to be able to empathise with those still lost in the darkness brought on by the incompetent mismanagement of resources of our major power supplier. Remember those hot nights sweating your you-know-what off because of BPL? Well multiply that by 15 and you know how the worst off of us feel.

My Lord, how are these people even surviving?

By day 7, I would have been kicked off Facebook for the comments left on BPL’s page. By day 10, I would have been arrested for protesting in front of BPL, clothed only in a week’s buildup of bodily grime earned from not being able to take a hot shower. By day 15, I would have been camped out in front of the Prime Minister’s house, with picket signs and a manual on how to ‘tief’ solar energy.

When the current management took over at BPL the accolades poured in from this government. After shelling out $25m for a five-year contract, we were led to believe the “new team” was the answer to our energy problems. We were led to believe the days of “rolling blackouts” were behind us. Well Maury, the lie detector test determined that was a lie!

Not only do we still live in the “age of load shedding,” we now have to worry that should another Hurricane pass through (one will) we may face another dystopian nightmare the likes of which the most imaginative fiction writer couldn’t envision.

To add insult to injury, the new management team at BPL, in making the rounds on the radio, seem to be under the impression that we should be impressed that they have brought in pinch hitters and big trucks from their mother company PowerSecure. In two words, we’re not.

You mean to tell me the people we outsourced the job to have to outsource the job, too? And we have to pick up the bill? And at least 10% of the island is still in darkness? You can’t make this stuff up.

You know what would impress us, BPL talking heads?

Restoring power to the 8,000 Bahamians still in darkness a full two weeks after the storm has passed. In case you didn’t realise it, this isn’t our first hurricane rodeo. In the annals of “current” history, your response goes down as one of the worst.

There are many, many experienced engineers and technicians on your team and a few recently retired BEC workers who know a thing or two about getting the lights on quickly. Why don’t you do us all a favour and let them do what they have done for decades before you arrived on the scene to “manage” the situation?

While you’re at it, pay a thought to persons who will no doubt find it very difficult to pay you for your “services” at the end of the month. I’m not saying not to print the bills, I’m just saying that if those disconnection trucks come through before the reconnection trucks do, you may be in for a major Bahamian “blessing” that will make Matthew look like a mild breeze.

‘King Perod’

Is it me, or for someone who campaigned four years ago against taxation and future taxation, as one of his parties campaign platforms, Prime Minister Christie is rivalling “King Herod” with his proposed taxes these days.

We all know about VAT, and 7.5% on top of everything. We all know duty remains unchanged.

“VAT on erryting” as they say in the “hood” from hair weaves and bleach cream, to Jordan’s and “hot patties” there’s no escaping it. VAT is real!!

(By the way where’s the VAT revenue collected so far, and what is it being used for?)

I digress, more importantly it amazes me with VAT, high duty rates, and the taxes already on the books, the first idea that came to our Prime Minister’s mind, implement a ‘Hurricane Tax’ in order to cover future hurricane expenditures before, during and after the storm.

Why is it so easy for our leaders to instantly jump to the conclusion of taxing the small man, all while allowing certain powerful entities from the far east, to help themselves to the “tax free” smorgasbord buffet.

We the citizenry get more potential taxes piled on our already burdened backs, while allegedly, certain foreign investors demand tax free concessions for exorbitant amounts of years, and five hundred Bahamian citizenships approved for millionaire investors?

What type ‘psyche’ is that? (As the youngsters say)

Doesn’t charity begin at home? We Bahamians get taxed into oblivion and non Bahamians waltz on by tax free, pass go and collect $200.00?

The word must have gotten back to senior government officials that the streets were talking, and they were “talking bad” about the government and its ridiculous “Hurricane Tax” idea.

Miraculously a day or two later, the PM announced there would be no “Hurricane Tax” instead the nation would secure a $150m Hurricane Rebuild Loan.

Another loan?

Really, seriously?

Now if you do the math on this people, you will see that we the citizenry end up footing the bill for all “loans” incurred by the government. And if we end up paying for another “loan” isn’t that a form of taxation on us indirectly anyway?

Spare us more “Chinese Arithmetic” in trying to figure out your lopsided potential taxes mister Prime Minister.

Instead, here’s a couple of suggestions regarding taxes.

1. Why don’t you collect the taxes still left owed by your bosom buddy hotelier Phil Ruffin.

2. Tax the new owners of BahaMar, the same way you “free up” Atlantis, and ensure both properties enjoy the same concessions.

Hopefully that will allow the government to collect the necessary revenue needed, without crippling the populous.

Anyway I’m off, you never know, there may be a “word tax” next, any columnist over 500 words gets taxed!!

Until next week I will leave you with these words from former US President Calvin Coolidge -

“Implementing and collecting more taxes than absolutely necessary is legalised robbery.”

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net