The Tribune

By ALESHA CADET

Tribune Features Reporter

acadet@tribunemedia.net

The light from dozens of candles lit up Saunders Beach on Saturday evening as bereaved parents came out to honour the children they have lost.

The candlelight vigil and balloon release event was organised by the Tears Foundation – Bahamas Project, a branch of the Washington-based Tears Foundation which seeks to assist parents who have experienced miscarriages, stillbirths or infant deaths.

The event also coincided with October being observed as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Tia Armbrister launched the Tears Foundation – Bahamas Project last August with the assistance of Sarah Slack, the organisation’s founder.

The non-profit organisation’s goal is to break the silence surrounding the important issue of pregnancy and infant loss and give a voice to bereaved families.

The additional objective on Saturday was to also officially introduce the Bahamas Project, letting affected persons know that there is help, there is support, and that they are all in this together.

“Like an ‘I’m coming out’ moment, this event was a ‘We are here’ moment to let bereaved families and the public know that such losses should not go silent, rather there is a strong support group that is right on their little island to assist and honour memories. You would have also gotten a chance to become more acquainted with our team,” said Mrs Armbrister.

It was after experiencing the painful ordeal of a stillbirth on April 12, 2012, that Mrs Armbrister said she became acquainted with the numerous individuals and foundations that helped with her with coping process and ultimately inspired her to start the Bahamas Project.

“After eight months of bonding, playing with, talking to and waiting to hold her, the unexpected happened – I lost my daughter, Tianna-Marie Outten, through the night. Though numbing, the support I received from the hospital’s team in Orlando, Florida, was phenomenal. They overwhelmed me with love and tiny little memoirs of my angel,” she said.

Not only was she amazed to see how many others shared her traumatic experience, but also to meet so many persons who were willing to offer support. It warmed her heart, she said.

“Sadly, when I returned home and spoke to a few persons who had also lost their babies the experience was completely different. I could not imagine not having the support I did. Immediately, I knew I had to make a difference. Although there were very little resources within the hospitals here in the Bahamas for the parents or even relatives affected by stillbirth, I did not let this discourage me. I immediately reached out to a few of the stillbirth foundations, and after an extensive year I was granted authorisation to lead the Bahamas’ team,” she told Tribune Health. 

Mrs Armbrister said many of the members and volunteers at the Tears Foundation have experienced the loss of a child or have been closely affected through a family member or a friend, and these persons are inspired to give back in this way to support newly bereaved parents in their time of devastating sorrow.

“The bond I formed over the time spent with my baby is one that I will never forget, so there was no way that I can just let her memory expire, I had to become actively involved. It is important to me because I believe that every baby’s life deserves to be honoured. The importance of highlighting a baby’s life and memory after a stillbirth not only brings closure to parents, but also fills the gap of not having the actual baby to take home. The little pieces of memories I received continue to make a huge difference and assist with healing. Therefore, I would like to introduce a comprehensive bereavement care in the form of grief support groups and couple companions,” she said.

Reflecting on Saturday’s candlelight vigil, Mrs Armbrister said she was most excited about the balloon release where mothers honoured their children by releasing balloons across the ocean with their names on them. 

“As we build this new foundation it is very important that we bring awareness as well as welcome persons to become a part of such a dynamic foundation at the perfect time, which is now, during Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Month,” she said.

Mrs Armbrister believes pregnancy and infant loss here in the Bahamas is not given the attention it deserves, and it is time for the silence to finally be broken.

“Too many families grieve in silence, sometimes never coming to terms with the loss. I would also like to place emphasis as a living testimony that parents and families can never get over a loss, rather, through a long healing process, learn to live with it,” she said.

The Tears Foundation – Bahamas Project would like to start the conversation nationally and educate the public about miscarriages, stillbirths and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) by providing counselling and bereavement support to families, and ultimately provide financial support and care baskets (memories of the baby), to grieving parents.

“Our goal is to have representation in every hospital, doctor’s office, psychologist’s, psychiatrist’s office and counsellor’s office. We want persons to know that we are with them in their time of need – just a phone call away,” said Mrs Armbrister.

“We are currently hosting monthly meetings, every last Tuesday of the month, at various locations. For the remainder of the year there is an event that we are planning to host in December which is an intimate Sip and Paint event. More information to come very soon.”