The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

Now that we have had a chance to digest a second helping of Prime Minister Christie’s explanation on why the Baha Mar deal has been sealed, I have to say I don’t like it one bit.

In fact, I dislike his explanation so much I want to regurgitate it into a plastic grocery bag, tie it up and drop kick it into Lake Killarney. I want to take his explanation, grind it up with seeds and feed it to the birds. Because that’s precisely who explanations like that are made for.

When our Prime Minister stood in the House of Assembly this week and spoke to facilitating the documents surrounding a most perplexing national issue being sealed at the behest of the China Export-Import Bank (CEXIM), I wondered aloud who our leaders work for.

Of course, it’s mostly a rhetorical question, because everyone knows the ‘boss’ is the person who benefits most from the fruits of your labour. And right now, CEXIM and China Construction America (CCA) are enjoying delicious sugar apples, dillies and even pineapples all thanks to the loyal fruit pickers we elected in 2012.

A deal of this complexity being sealed is ‘standard’ said the Prime Minister. Which is true, since secrecy is the Progressive Liberal Party’s standard. The government recognises that any concessions they grant to CCA will have to be offered to Atlantis, said the PM. Which, ironically, only adds another reason to the growing pile of theories as to why the government may want the documents sealed.

But there’s a thought. Perhaps our good friends at Atlantis, with their ‘favoured nation’ status and all, could request to have a little peek at what, exactly, the government gave to CCA. After all, they have a right to know. Just as Bahamians have a right to know. But with elections still eight months away, fickle voters (with their short-term memories) are not important enough to warrant forthright answers. So maybe Baha Mar’s future biggest competitor can give it a shot.

The craziest part of this latest Baha Mar episode is that our leader (and his apologists) could quickly calm the Bahamian public by answering the most pertinent questions without all the mental gymnastics and word salads.

Instead of heeding the cry of thousands of Bahamians who have inundated the talk show airwaves and social media begging Mr Christie for details of the deal, the PM offered flatly that it was “unrealistic to expect global businesses to conduct their business in the media”. Never mind that he was the one that brought this latest bowl of obfuscation to the table. Never mind that his primary ‘business’ should be about transparency with the people who he swore to serve.

And for the record, when Sarkis Izmirlian’s company still sat at the negotiating table was the last instance this Baha Mar debacle was about ‘global businesses’ conducting business.

Right now, all I see are two governments playing an international game of ‘All For Me, Baby’.

Alas, according to Mr Christie, the details will come “if” and “when” the Supreme Court sees fit.

Word of advice: don’t hold your breath waiting to find out if billions of dollars, decades of tax concessions or even fast-tracked citizenships were handed over all in pursuit of one man’s ‘legacy’.

To show how serious he is, Mr Christie insists that any future investor or operator of Baha Mar must be a “world class” brand who must inject equity (aka moola, big money, long dollars). Or, as he said in an interview, have “skin in the game”. Because that worked out so well for Izmirilian.

Although I do get the logic: it’s harder to skin an investor alive if they show up already skinless.

To add insult to injury, the PM bragged about a closer relationship he has with China these days even as his approval rating among the Bahamian electorate plummets. Even as CCA allegedly makes further demands with respect to The Pointe. Even as the tarnished construction company avariciously takes concessions many Bahamians may not want to give.

That’s why the Prime Minister’s non-answer answer on Baha Mar irritates me. Any leader unwilling to listen to the people is likely unwilling to answer to the people. And that’s how you make a farce of democracy. But we already knew that (didn’t we?) after the gaming referendum.

Did I mention Mr Christie’s evasive response on Baha Mar concessions is really vexing me? I wish I could jump in a time machine, travel back to the past and duct tape the mouth of the person who first invented ‘words’. That’s how offensive it was.

Fitz of depression

Minister of Education Jerome Fitzgerald is ‘surprised’ at the ‘level of unhappiness’ Bahamians have expressed over the Baha Mar deal. After spending six weeks negotiating on the behalf of the government, Mr Fitzgerald obviously expected more gratitude for the long hours and sleepless nights he spent doing the people’s work.

He was ‘surprised’ at the hundreds and hundreds of creditors owed money by the resort. He’s probably also surprised that Bahamian companies and families aren’t on bended knees fanning him with praise because they ‘may’ get ‘some’ of the money owed to them (after an application process, of course).

How such a young(ish) politician became so disconnected from the reality on the ground with Bahamians is mind boggling. He misjudged the public reaction to the Rubis gas leak scandal. He misjudged the public reaction to his reading private Save The Bays emails in parliament. Now he is misjudging the latest public reaction to another ‘episode’’ he is involved in.

By the way, how did he become involved in the Baha Mar negotiations? Last time I checked, Attorney General Allyson Maynard Gibson was handling that work full of wonder that’s taking up space on Cable Beach. Although, in his defence, he has been known to step in and help clean up sticky situations when the AG is unavailable (yes, that was a veiled nolle prosequi reference).

It seems Minister Fitzgerald is gaining favour in Prime Minister Christie’s inner circle. Could he be helping Mr Christie construct another shaky ‘rope bridge to the future’? Only time will tell.

What’s apparent now is that if he wishes to have a chance at winning his seat in Marathon he should really focus on the constituents and students that are waiting for him to show his purported brilliance in helping them overcome ailments and ailing school grades.

Other than that, he should avoid the microphones until he can say for sure that Bahamians who are out in the cold because of what has happened with Baha Mar will be made whole. In the current political climate, all the feigned ‘shock’ to garner headlines, praise and a little camera time comes across nuttier than a squirrel trapped in a Crown Royal bag.

Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down

Thumbs Up to the Democratic National Alliance (DNA) for organising an actual, physical protest on Bay Street this week.

As parliamentarians entered the House of Assembly on Wednesday morning, they were greeted with placards and chants of ‘nothing to hide, nothing to fear’.

Although I continue to view the DNA with a jaundiced eye (do they only exist to play spolier?), I have to give them credit for getting up early in the morning, getting all ‘green up’ and actually putting in the kind of work democracies require to survive.

Thumbs Up to all the ‘Back to School’ drives, expos, shindigs and fetes where school students and parents are able to receive back to school supplies free of cost. It’s truly a service the community needs and appreciates.

Thumbs Down to all the businesses who plaster their logos over every pen, pencil, backpack, nook and cranny of their ‘free’ school supplies.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a great service businesses perform in helping to alleviate back to school expenses for already financially burdened Bahamians. That said, I’m not so sure little Johnny (who can’t buy a 3-ball) should be transformed into a mini walking billboard for the neighbourhood ‘numbers house.’

What’s next? Free Trojan water bottles? Captain Morgan crayons?

I’m not saying certain businesses shouldn’t give. I’m just saying when you do give perhaps some discretion is in order. Yes, marketing is important. But just as bubble-gum flavoured cigarettes were found to be a predatory, illegal enticement as well as illegally conditioning young users by the US government a few years back, so too this form of marketing can be easily criticised.

Please keep giving, but consider whether or not Mary having Magnums plastered on her exercise book is really a good idea.

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net.